Fire
by the-second-deadly-sin
Summary: Ralph and Jack have a complicated relationship. Enemies outside of class and awkward friends in lessons. And it's about to get a lot more complicated, when unwanted feelings make themselves known. (Just a typical highschool au for Lord of the Flies.) Jalph & Rogermon as a sideplot. (The boys are aged up a little, they're around 16/17).
1. Chapter 1

Another holiday finished, another school year beginning. A new classroom, a new teacher, Ralph just had to hope that he would be sat next to someone new as well, and not that awful Jack Merridew for the third year running. Three years sitting next to each other would have been great if they were friends, or tense if they were true enemies, but they seemed to be so lost between the two things that it was just plain awkward, and Ralph didn't know what to make of the situation.

When they weren't in lessons, Jack and his gang tormented Ralph, and any friends that happened to be with him at the time, mercilessly. That Ralph could deal with. He could return comments with ease, and if things got violent, he was quick on his feet, and stronger than he looked. What he couldn't deal with was the way Jack acted in lessons. As soon as they sat down in class, and Jack was away from his posse, he was _nice_. He didn't tease Ralph, or call him names. Well, he called him 'golden boy' no matter what the setting, but in class, it was almost, _almost_ , affectionate. And Ralph never knew how to respond. How could someone be so horrible in one setting, and so nice in another? It just didn't make any sense.

"Merridew, you're next to Harrington at the back."

Ralph cursed under his breath, pulling his chair as far away from the seat next to him as he possibly could, while Jack sat down and got his books out.

"Well, well, well, golden boy, looks like I'm stuck with you for another year." The taunting voice filled Ralph's ears, coated in the tone of softness that confused the younger boy to no end.

"Yeah, guess you are." Ralph muttered in response, watching as his two best friends, Simon and Piggy, were seated at the far side of the room. Despite how uncomfortable he was next to Jack, Ralph couldn't help feeling sorry for Simon. He had been seated next to the most violent member of Jack's gang, Roger. Everything about Roger was terrifying, and next to Simon, the picture of innocence, the threatening atmosphere he gave off was amplified. Ralph just prayed that Simon wouldn't become his main victim because the two of them were sat together.

"No need to look so worried, Goldilocks." Another of Jack's favourite names for Ralph. "Your little friend will be just fine. Roger's got a soft spot for guys like him, he'll treat him real nice."

Ralph instantly turned to look at the redhead beside him, and was shocked to find icy eyes locked to his the second he did so.

"What do you mean?" Jack laughed at his ignorance, choosing not to reveal too much.

"Exactly what I said. Roger's going to treat your little friend real nice, so don't you worry."

Ralph frowned, still not really understanding, and glanced back over at Simon, who was clutching his pen tightly, while Roger stared at him intently, despite having his head angled towards the desk. The way Roger's dark hair half covered his eyes made him look more menacing than usual, and Ralph decided to keep an eye on him, just to make sure Simon wasn't under any threat. Not matter what Jack said, or what it meant, he wasn't taking any chances.

"Alright class, now that everyone's seated, let's open up our textbooks to page 23."

Ralph liked to keep his desk neat, he made sure his pens were always in a nice, straight line, all facing the same way, and he had just enough room for his textbook to lie open without one side being propped up on something else and getting bent out of shape. Jack wasn't quite so particular, and as soon as Ralph placed his book in its designated position, Jack dropped his into place, purposefully allowing it to overlap Ralph's.

Ralph sighed, mentally scolding himself for not expecting this kind of behaviour.

"Jack, move your book."

"Well, someone's in a good mood today." Jack mocked sarcastically, smirking at the blonde boy.

"Don't start, Jack, just move the book. You've got plenty of space, don't invade mine."

"Say please."

"Jack!"

"That's not saying please."

"Oh for crying out loud."

"Mr Merridew, Mr Harrington, is there some sort of problem back there?"

Jack raised one eyebrow at Ralph, as though silently repeating the teacher's question, and Ralph just sighed again.

"No sir." He responded quietly, while Jack continued to smirk.

"Jack, please will you move your book?" Ralph whispered, through gritted teeth.

"Of course I will Ralphie."

All of the lessons that morning went pretty much the same way, with the red-headed choir boy doing everything in his power to annoy Ralph, and the the blonde knew exactly what it meant. It might have only been the first day of term, but Merridew was looking for a fight.

Ralph made sure to take all the precautions he could to ensure his friends weren't going to get roped into a scrap with Jack and his group. First off he warned them, then he convinced them to sit somewhere other than their usual spot, so they would be harder to find. Piggy suggested they find a club to go to, so they weren't out in the open, and even if they were found, there would be a teacher with them, so there wouldn't be a fight, but Sam and Eric, the twins from the year below that liked to sit with them, argued that it was too nice a day to go inside, and even if there was a fight, the five of them could take the choir boys any day.

They got through most of lunch without any signs of hostility, but with ten minutes of lunch left, the familiar trio finally found them. The red-headed tyrant sauntering towards them with a smirk, Roger on one side, his eyes fixed on Simon, and Maurice on his other side, grinning at the thought of getting to watch a fight.

"Oh no." Simon mumbled, glancing in the direction of the three bullies as they drew nearer. Ralph saw them too, and groaned internally.

"Well, if it isn't our favourite group of losers." Maurice sang happily. A glance from Jack shut him up, then the leader took charge.

"We got worried when we couldn't find you at your usual bench. Why'd you move? I hope you weren't running away from us." The gleam in his eye said exactly the opposite, and all four boys in Ralph's group turned to the small blonde boy to take charge of their side.

"We weren't running away, just looking to avoid a confrontation. Plus, sometimes you need a change of scenery."

Jack, Maurice, and Roger shared a mocking look, before turning back to the others. Simon began fidgeting uncomfortably, Roger's gaze on him unmoving and intense.

"Aw, Goldilocks, how nice of you to pick such a pretty place for our first fight of the year." Jack said with a smirk, stepping closer to Ralph.

"We're not going to fight, Jack." Ralph replied calmly. Piggy held his breath, and Sam and Eric kept looking between the two leaders in nervous anticipation. Simon looked at no one, and kept his head down so he wouldn't meet Roger's intimidating stare.

"Oh really? And what makes you so sure of that?" Jack leant right down to where Ralph was sitting, holding himself so their noses were almost touching.

"Because I'm not going to fight you." Ralph said simply, fighting all of the instincts that told him to move his head away from Jack's. Flames ignited in Jack's eyes.

"Well then, if you're not going to fight me, I guess I've got some free hits." With that, he grabbed Ralph's shirt collar, and pulled him up onto his feet. Ralph stumbled, not managing to get his balance back in time to dodge the first blow. Jack's fist caught his shoulder, and he stumbled again, just stopping himself from falling, and regaining balance. He dodged the second punch easily, and sidestepped the third. Jack growled, feigned a fourth punch, and pounced instead, knocking Ralph to the ground and pinning him there.

One leg went either side of Ralph's hips, and strong hands were on his shoulders, holding him down, despite his struggles. For a moment, it seemed that Ralph was winning, he was so close to getting Jack off of him, so close to overpowering him, when the fire in Jack's eyes blazed. Ralph's shoulders were slammed back down into the ground, and Jack shifted almost all of his weight, grounding down on the smaller boy's hips to hold them in place as well.

In the same instant, Ralph stopped struggling. The feeling of Jack grounding his hips was...interesting, to say the very least. He was silently hoping that the slight tightening in his trousers was just his imagination, but when Jack froze, he knew it wasn't. It couldn't be happening. He couldn't be reacting to this in that way. He hated this, he hated fighting, and from that moment, he hated himself. He couldn't be that way, he couldn't be. His father would never approve, if anyone found out he'd be a laughing stock, he'd be ridiculed, shunned, outcast. And there he was, so vulnerable, because the one other person that knew as much as he did was Jack. Horrid, unpredictable Jack. Internally he was panicking, expecting Jack to start shouting, or at least mention it in some way. But he didn't. Instead, he just stood up, kicking Ralph, surprisingly gently, onto his side as he did so.

"Maurice, Roger, come on, we're leaving." He ordered, before stalking off, Maurice close to his heels. Roger stared at Simon for one more long moment, then stuck his hands in his pockets and followed the other two, kicking a stone as he went.

"Ralph, are you okay?" Piggy asked quickly, helping Ralph up from the ground.

"Why'd he just leave?" Eric added.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine." Ralph replied quietly, staring after the bullies, feeling a hideous mixture of disgust, dread, confusion, and the lingering remnants of arousal. "...I...I don't know."


	2. Chapter 2

Ralph spent several days in quiet panic, never knowing what Jack was planning to do, or when he was going to do it. He had spent so much time trying to reason with himself, trying to explain, justify even, the reaction he had had to their fight. In the end, he had reached the conclusion that, no, he wasn't a man lover, he was just inexperienced in that area, so the mere action of being ground upon by anyone was stimulating, it hadn't just been arousing because it was done by a man. He couldn't always argue the case effectively, but at least he had a case. Not that it made him any less worried that Jack would reveal what he knew. He didn't know Ralph had managed to explain himself, he didn't know that he was almost sure he wasn't a poof, all he knew was that the two of them had been fighting and Ralph's body had betrayed him, and that was wonderful information to use as blackmail. And yet, he didn't act on it, not for a few days anyway.

Ralph had been so distracted that he wasn't as attentive in class as he should have been. The work would get done, but not to the expected quality. In just a few days, his grades were slipping, and for the first time in his whole school life, Ralph Harrington had a detention. With it still being really early in the year, the usual troublemakers hadn't yet started their annual antics, so Ralph was the only student in the detention room at lunch. The teacher left, knowing Ralph wasn't going to get himself in anymore trouble than he was already in at the moment, and the blonde should have known Jack would seize the opportunity.

"So." Ralph jumped, tensing instantly. He could almost hear the smirk in the other's voice. "About our little fight the other day. I have to say, Golden boy, I never had you down as that kind of guy."

There was only one thing Ralph could do. He had to claim ignorance, pretend he didn't know what the redhead was talking about, despite the fact that his heart was pounding in his chest.

"What kind of guy?" Jack's smirk grew as he realised just what Ralph was playing at, and he strolled into the room, turning a chair round so the back faced Ralph, then sitting with one leg either side of it, in an attempt to affect him. Ralph kept his eyes fixed on his book.

"You know what kind of guy Ralphie. You're a poof, aren't you?"

"A poof! Of course not." Ralph replied, perhaps a little too quickly.

"Oh really? Well if you're not, how come you got hard when I pinned you down, hmm?"

"You'd react that way too if somebody was grinding on your hips." He was snapping now, eyes narrowed, and head turned towards Jack, the two of them staring the other down, but with very different expressions. Ralph's eyes showed frustration and anxiety, while Jack's were a picture of excitement and anticipation.

"Want to test that theory?" The words dripped off of the choir boy's tongue like melted gold, and Ralph mind went blank for a moment.

Jack couldn't really be suggesting that they repeat Monday, but with the roles reversed. Could he? Even if he was, Ralph couldn't let himself get drawn in by the need to be right, he would only be allowing Jack to manipulate him. Part of him wanted to go along with it, just to prove that it was the action of being ground upon that affected them, not the person that did it, but he couldn't deny, the thought of grinding onto Jack was disturbingly sensual, and if he was the one to react, it would only confirm that he was, in fact, attracted to men. Or at least, attracted to Jack, or maybe the physical contact was what did it. Jack put a lot of passion into fights, perhaps that was what had affected him. No, he couldn't let himself get curious, it would only lead to trouble. ...But...it would help him if he knew what affected him.

"Hello, earth to Ralph. Do you want to test it or don't you? We don't even have to get on the floor, I'll just turn my chair around." Jack's voice cut through Ralph's thoughts, and, though the smaller boy didn't reply, he stood, turned the chair around, and sat back down again, leaning back as if to invite the other to join him. "If you want to do it, just do it." He instructed casually, taunting eyes burning through Ralph's skull.

No, Ralph didn't want to do this, but the more he thought about it, the more he realised, he had to. Jack wasn't going to back down, that much was obvious, and he didn't expect the blonde to move, so at least if he did he had a shot at catching him off guard. It was dangerous, Ralph knew that, there was a chance it could backfire, then Jack would be able to tell everyone just what he was, but there was also a chance he would be proven right, and that was enough to convince him. Plus, he decided that whatever his body did would give him a better understanding of himself, so what did he have to lose? Everything. He knew that, but still, as soon as he decided to just go for it, he was on top of Jack. Neither of them were quite sure how he'd gotten there so fast, but there he was, one leg either side of Jack, hands gripping the back of the chair to keep himself from falling.

Jack's smirk was smaller now, but still obviously present, and Ralph, feeling as though he had accomplished something by surprising him to some extent, began to grind down on the other. He didn't apply much pressure, it was awkward in the chair, and he didn't really know what he was doing, but he still tried. Once he worked out how to shift his weight it was a lot easier, and he was able to put more pressure on as he ground into Jack's hips. He searched the freckled face for any kind of reaction, surprised that his expression hadn't change, beside the fact that the smirk was slowly growing again. Wanting to win, needed to prove himself right, he tried shifting again, changing the angle slightly and grinding again, and got what he wanted. Well, a little more than he wanted actually. Jack's eyes closed, and he let out slightly husky sigh, moving his hands to grip Ralph's hips.

"Do that again." Too confused to argue, Ralph did as he was told, grinding down onto Jack. He felt a slight twitch beneath him, and inhaled sharply, conflicted now like never before. His mind screamed at him to stop, but his hips, guided by Jack's hands but with a mind of their own, continued moving. Another twitch beneath him, and Jack's head fell back. A short moan left his lips, and Ralph's body betrayed his mind again. His hands released their grip on the chair, finding Jack's shoulders instead, and he dug his nails in to keep himself steady while his hips just kept moving of their own accord.

This wasn't what he had wanted. He had only wanted Jack to react the way he had during their fight, he hadn't planned for there to be moaning, or touching. He hadn't planned to enjoy it when Jack's head tipped back, or when his fingers dug into his bony hips. He hadn't planned for his trousers to tighten as the ones he was sat on did. And he definitely hadn't planned what happened next.

While one of Jack's hands stayed firmly on his hip, the other began to travel, first finding a rounded buttock, and giving it a sharp squeeze, then moving round the front, palming the obvious bulge in his trousers.

Ralph gasped, and bit down on his lip in an attempt to stop the noises that threatened to escape, but sadly, it was to no avail. A short, lustful cry emanated from his lips, and his cheeks flooded red. Jack pulled his hand away, moving it quickly to Ralph's neck, then dragging him closer, crashing their lips together. For a few seconds, Ralph kissed him back, then, when he realised what he was doing, pulled away, almost jumping off of the chair, and staggering backwards, stumbling over other chairs in his haste. His eyes were fixed on Jack, unable to drag themselves away from him, with his eyes that held the flames of desire, and the bulge in his trousers that was both disturbing and arousing. And that smirk, that awful smirk was back.

Ralph covered his mouth, shaking his head in disbelief. He hadn't just done that, why had he just done that? There was no denying it now, there was some kind of attraction to men, or at least attraction to Jack, somewhere in him. Was it just physical? He didn't know. Gently, he ran his fingers over his lips, almost cringing at the way they tingled. He couldn't believe it, he couldn't believe what he had just done, and he couldn't believe that Jack Merridew was staring at him, looking as proud as he could possibly be, having just stolen Ralph's first kiss. Had he stolen it? Or had Ralph willingly handed it over? He could have stopped as soon as he'd gotten a reaction, but he didn't. Was it just because he was too shocked to do anything else? Had Jack's hands on his hips been doing more guiding than he had realised? No, he realised with disgust at himself filling his mind, he hadn't stopped, because he hadn't wanted to. He heard the husky sigh, saw the way Jack's eyes closed so slowly, almost too slowly, and he had actually enjoyed it. And the tingling sensation on his lips, the faint taste of the redhead that stained them, that was enjoyable too. A whole new wave of self loathing washed over him, and he sank into a chair.

"So, are you still going to deny that you're a poof?" Jack asked, standing from his chair and sauntering over to Ralph.

"You're one too." Was the only quiet response Ralph could muster.

"Only when you do stuff like that. You're pretty good you know, I bet you've been practising. Tell me Ralphie, who have you been kissing? Your fat friend? Or maybe the little one Roger's so obsessed with?"

"I haven't been kissing anyone."

"Really? So I'm your first. Good. Well Goldilocks, you keep my secret, and I'll keep yours. You wouldn't want anybody finding out that you've been grinding on me in the middle of a classroom now would you?" Ralph swallowed thickly, and shook his head. The threat was made, Ralph had ammo that he wasn't allowed to use, but he was too confused to care. His mind was a mess. He had sorted everything out, he'd justified the first reaction, but now, now there was no excuse he could make. It wasn't just the action of being ground upon, the action of grinding affected him too. He enjoyed all of Jack's reactions to him, and that meant there was no other explanation. Maybe his brain didn't agree, but his body was definitely attracted to Jack freaking Merridew.

Needless to say, the rest of his lessons that day were incredibly awkward. He couldn't bear to look at the boy beside him, but he couldn't concentrate on the lesson either. As a distraction, he forced himself to keep his attention on Simon and Roger. Jack had said Roger was obsessed with him, and, as he watched, he saw it was true. Yes, Roger was working, but he only ever looked at his book for long enough to write a few words, then he would glance back at Simon. The smaller boy appeared to be blissfully unaware, but if you looked closely, you could tell he knew. He chewed the end of his pen while he tried to work out the answer to a question, and Ralph saw Roger lick his lips as the pen spun in Simon's teeth, then a shiver ran down Simon's spine, barely noticeable, but there. Simon's hand shook as he lowered his pen to the paper, and it seemed that Roger's intent staring at him made the answer he had found vanish. Ralph wanted to go over and tell Roger to leave the poor boy alone, but he was reminded of his own issues when Jack ghosted a hand over his knee. Electricity shot through his bones, and he glared at the older boy, only getting a wink in return.

His blood boiling, and his cheeks burning too, Ralph attempted to get some work done, pausing when a note was dropped on his book. Shooting daggers at Jack from the corner of his eyes, he slowly unfolded the paper, a knot forming in his throat as he read it.

 _Don't pretend you don't like it Ralphie._

Gritting his teeth, he grasped his pen, scribbling on the paper before shoving it into Jack's waiting hand.

 ** _I'm not pretending._**

All hope of getting any work done was lost. Jack couldn't keep messing with his head like this, he needed to make it stop. But the replies on the piece of paper carried on.

 _Really? So you're saying you really don't like it? You surprise me. It sounded like you were having fun at lunch._

 _ **Lunch was**_ _-_ he stopped writing, searching for the right word- **_different. I had a point to prove. Don't get cocky, I'm never doing that again._**

 _Different. Yeah, you got that right. Typical golden boy, proving his point. We both proved our points Ralphie, and you know you enjoyed it. You'll be back for more, no way can you resist this._

 ** _Please. I've got no problem resisting you. As long as you keep your mitts off of me, we're good. Speaking of which, your friend needs to keep his mitts off Simon, he's making him uncomfortable._**

Jack scoffed when he read Ralph's reply, laughing quietly at the last bit.

 _Okay, 1, you're not getting away from me that easy, and 2, no way can I control Roger when it comes to Simon. I told you before, he's obsessed, he's not giving up until he gets what he wants._

Ralph cringed. Of course Jack wasn't going to back down just because he told him to. But he had to ignore that, the situation with Simon and Roger was worrying, and it'd be one less thing on his mind if he could fix it.

 ** _What does he want?_**

Jack gave Ralph a sideways glance, the smirk fixed in place, as it almost always was.

 _The same thing I want from you._


	3. Chapter 3

Ralph did his best to stay away from Jack as much as possible. He took Piggy's advice, finding somewhere inside to go at lunch, and settled for the library, managing to convince Simon to go with him to help him study. Simon questioned why Ralph would need help studying, when he had the highest grades in class, and Ralph had panicked, knowing he couldn't possibly tell the truth. He settled for a half truth in the end, saying that Jack was making concentrating in lessons impossible. It wasn't a lie, Jack had hardly left him alone since their note passing, but it was still suspicious. After all, the two of them had been sat together for two years before this one, and Ralph had always managed. It was also a little suspicious that Ralph always requested it was Simon that help him, since he was closer to Piggy, and Ralph couldn't really make any excuses for that. He was just trying to keep him away from Roger.

Lessons were the hardest part. Ralph couldn't escape Jack, and his overly flirty notes, and every time he looked across, he saw Roger staring at Simon like he was meat and Roger hadn't eaten in months. He always tried to ignore the notes that Jack dropped in front of him, and every time he gave in to the temptation to read it, he regretted it instantly. But sometimes curiosity got the better of him, and there was nothing he could do to stop himself unfolding the paper and reading Jack's flowing handwriting.

 _How long are you planning to keep this up?_

Ralph gulped. So Jack did know he was purposefully avoiding him. He couldn't see any way out of this, so he didn't write anything, he just folded the paper up again and put in back down on the desk. After a minute, Jack took it back, wrote something else, and dropped it on Ralph's book again. Once more, the temptation was irresistible.

 _You can't run away forever. And if you're planning to carry on, stop taking your little friend with you, Roger's getting tetchy._

That time, Ralph had to respond.

 ** _I'm not leaving Simon where he can get him._**

 _Why not? You're not choosing him over me are you? I'll tell you now, he can't do half the things I can._

Jack's meaning was obvious, and Ralph blushed, risking a sideways glance, only to find Jack smirking beside him.

 ** _That's not why I'm taking him with me. Roger's dangerous, all I'm doing is keeping Simon safe. It doesn't mean I like him, I don't._**

 _So you admit you like me?_

Typical Jack, twisting his words to suit his own meaning.

 ** _No. That's not what I said and you know it._** He wasn't sure what changed, but all of a sudden, Ralph wasn't willing to keep his thoughts to himself, and they spilled out onto the scrap of paper. **_Just because you've got this twisted fantasy where I swoon every time you come near me doesn't mean I'll actually do it. Just deal with the fact that your little crush is one sided._**

He expected the reply to take longer, in fact, he expected the reply to be longer. Or at least different.

 _That's so cute._

Ralph had no idea what to make of that. What was going through Jack's head? Why was all of this focused on Ralph? And why the hell wouldn't Roger tear his eyes away from Simon?

 ** _What's cute about it? I'm just telling you the truth so you can stop deluding yourself._**

Jack chuckled quietly as he wrote, taking his time with this response, then flicking the paper towards Ralph.

 _It's cute that you think my fantasies only go as far as you swooning._

Ralph's mouth went dry as he read that, and he almost choked on the air. He didn't want to respond. He wanted to screw the paper up and throw it away. He wanted to tell the teacher, so that he could make Jack stop, but he couldn't do that. If he dared breathe a word of it, Jack would tell everyone what they had done. What Ralph had done. He couldn't let that happen. His only option if he wanted this to stop was to stop responding. And yet, his shaking hand brought pen to paper once more.

 ** _You're disgusting._**

 _You know what I mean though, so you're just as bad. Tell me honestly that you haven't thought about us. We could be amazing Ralph, and you know it._

 ** _Don't you think this is inappropriate? We're in a lesson and you're trying to turn me on. It's not going to work._**

 _No I don't think it's inappropriate. This might be though._

Ralph frowned, confused as to what Jack was talking about, then he felt a hand rest on his leg, and gasped quietly, looking down at the hand, then across at Jack, who was writing in his work book as though nothing was happening. He would have spoken aloud then, but the class was silent, and he couldn't risk alerting anyone as to what was happening. He wasn't sure whether to be grateful they were at the back, because it meant nobody was going to see them, or worried, because it meant Jack could get away with more.

 _ **What are you doing? Get off of me.**_

Jack didn't write anything else, he just shook his head. Ralph tried physically moving Jack's hand, jerking his leg to start with, then, when that didn't work, he decided he had to try a little harder, and slowly, to avoid suspicion, lowered his hand under the table, and tried to lift Jack's from his leg. At first he thought he was succeeding, but then Jack flipped his hand over, trapping Ralph's fingers with his own. Then he took the paper back.

 _Don't fight this. Just enjoy it._

Ralph's throat was still dry, and every instinct he had was telling him to pull his hand away, but the feeling of Jack's thumb gently brushing back and forth across the back of his hand was oddly soothing. He could see Jack smiling out of the corner of his eye, but it wasn't quite his usual smirk, it was softer than that, but, of course, with the added hint of attitude that came from the feeling of accomplishment. Ralph knew he should have been more worried about this. Not only was there a risk of being caught, he was encouraging the exact thing he had hoped to stop, but, weirdly, with Jack rubbing his hand with his thumb, he was able to concentrate on his work for the first time in days.

On the whole, Ralph was still incredibly confused. That night, he spent well over an hour just lying on his bed, clutching a pillow to his chest and staring at the ceiling, trying to work out what was going on in his head, and, if possible, what was going on in Jack's.

He had to try and make some sort of sense out of the information he had, which in the grand scheme of things, wasn't very much.

So he knew that holding Jack's hand was nice, and he knew that they could turn each other on. If that had been all of the information he had, it would have been fairly easy to reach the conclusion that yes, he was attracted to Jack, but it wasn't. He also knew that Jack drove him insane, and punched him whenever he felt like it, and he was just letting Roger get away with making Simon uncomfortable. Plus, he kept being totally inappropriate in lessons. Okay, so they sat at the back, which meant they were less likely to be caught, but that didn't make it okay. Besides, Ralph wasn't even sure he was gay. To be honest, he'd never really been anything before this. Dating and flirting just wasn't something he was interested in. Was he even interested in it now, or were Jack's actions just forcing him to think about it? He was so confused, but that, he decided, was the first thing he had to figure out. Had he ever been attracted to anyone before? Or, was he attracted to anyone else now?

The answer was no. Other boys around him had found girls attractive, and spoken of potential sweethearts and dates, but he had always thought it a waste of time. He knew it was odd not to be overly interested, but he always explained it by saying his studies were his main priority. He had always thought that was the reason, but now, now he couldn't help but wonder if there was a reason he stayed away from the boys that seemed to talk of nothing but girls, and gravitated towards the more quiet, delicate types, like Simon. It wasn't that they were attractive to him, though he could see the appeal of a sweet boy like Simon, it was just that they were easier to get along with. They seemed to share the same opinion on dating that he did, or, the opinion he used to have anyway. But maybe the first one was right, maybe they were the same. He wouldn't be surprised if Simon was, but he did hope that, if he was, Roger never found out. Roger would be bad for anyone, let alone innocent little Simon.

He tried thinking of all the boys he knew from his year, trying to work out if any of them made him feel anything, but none of them did. The only one that sparked emotions in him was Jack. What those emotions were was the second thing he had to work out.

He decided it was best to take this stage step by step, figure out which of Jack's actions made him feel what, then evaluate them as a whole.

1) Mucking around in class, with things like dumping open books on top of one another. That just annoyed him. 2) The constant fighting. That made him nervous, since he never knew exactly when it was coming, and he hated that his friends always ended up involved. Although, now he was starting to view Jack slightly differently, he was doubting his motives for each fight. Jack had told him that he didn't think Ralph was 'that kind of guy'. If that was true, then Jack wouldn't have thought he stood a chance. Maybe the fights were his way of getting some physical contact with the smaller boy, without being judged for it. If that was the case, then Ralph couldn't help but feel sorry for him. 3) The inappropriate notes. Those were annoying, but, there were some good things to be gained from them. Thanks to Jack and his notes, he knew Roger really was a danger to Simon, he knew that Jack wasn't going to give up, and now he knew that holding Jack's hand was very nice. So yeah, the notes could be good.

The more he thought about everything, the more he saw things from Jack's point of view, and when he did that, things started making sense. He knew now, Jack was only acting the way he was because he had feelings for Ralph, and Ralph's reactions were only because he was developing feelings for Jack. There was only one thing he still wasn't quite sure of. Why had he enjoyed all the grinding so much? Why did a hand on his knee make his heart pound and his mind race? Was it just because it was Jack, or was he going to be like that with everyone from now on? That was something he would have to figure out, if it was physical contact in general, or just physical contact with Jack.

The next day at school, he had a plan of action in his head. All he had to do was get Jack on his own, so this time he was using notes to his advantage.

 ** _We need to talk. Meet me in the science lab at lunch._**

Jack hadn't replied, but slipped the note in his pocket, and for once, he wasn't smirking.

Lunch came around far too slowly, and Ralph was in the science lab within minutes, his heart beating far too quickly, and second guessing whether this was a good idea or not. But, just as he was beginning to think about backing out, he heard a familiar voice from behind him.

"You wanted to talk." Ralph turned to see Jack stood on the other side of the room, and actually looking nervous. Ralph said nothing, he just slowly crossed the room, wrapped his arms around Jack's neck, and gently pressed their lips together.


	4. Chapter 4

Ralph had expected his relationship with Jack to get easier to deal with once he had made his feelings known, but that expectation was most definitely not met. Things between the two of them were better than ever, but managing their relationship became increasingly difficult as time wore on.

The two of them had very little time alone together, so intimacy was hard to find, though they tried to make up for it in subtle ways. Ralph didn't move his chair away from Jack anymore, and holding hands beneath their desk had become a more common occurrence, but they still had to be careful that no one saw their fingers locking together, and on top of that, some classwork just couldn't be done with only one hand.

Fighting was still their main source of physical contact, and while both now embraced it, hurting each other was never pleasant. And yet, Ralph had actively encouraged Jack to hit him, to make it look real, and normal, and a few little bruises were a small price to pay to be with each other. Jack, on the other hand, preferred to keep their scrap more sensual than violent, manoeuvring Ralph into wrestling on the floor, despite Ralph's efforts to stop him, because sometimes, Jack got dangerously close to forgetting they were doing this for show.

There had been an incident that Ralph was certain would give them away. They were in the middle of a 'fight', with Jack on top of Ralph, pinning him to the ground. Ralph, needing to make Jack stop before either of them got carried away, used all of his strength to flip their positions, so he was the one pinning Jack. The smaller boy didn't realise his movements were reminiscent of their exploits in grinding until Jack's eyes half shut, and his head began to roll back. He stood, ending the scrap, and looked away while the redhead followed, brushing dirt from his knees. He saw Roger's eyes flick between the two group leaders, and then smile to himself, and Ralph began to panic. That was the first time he had ever seen a soft look on the threatening face, and, by some form of odd luck, Simon noticed it too, making him the one that was staring, and distracting both of them from anything they thought they might have seen from the other boys.

Ralph had to get Jack alone at lunch the next day, to set some ground rules in place.

"Jack, I know the fights are pretty much all we get at school, but...I'm worried they're going too far." He explained, as they sat in an otherwise empty classroom, on opposite sides of the same desk. He kept his voice low, just in case anyone was loitering near enough the door to hear him. Jack immediately panicked, not quite understanding what Ralph meant.

"I didn't hurt you, did I?"

"No, of course you didn't hurt me. It's just...if we get carried away...people can't know about us." The panic faded from Jack's eyes, replaced now by concern, as well as hints of sadness.

"So, you want me to stop. ...Maurice and Roger won't be happy."

"No. We don't have to stop. We just need to be careful." Jack sighed, sick and tired of hearing that phrase, even after only a few weeks of this new relationship between them.

"Ralph, we're already being careful." He argued.

"Not careful enough. You know what will happen if people find out about us."

"Yeah, I know. I just don't care as much as you do. So what if people don't like it, they don't get a say! What we do is between us, nothing anyone says should stop us!" Sparks of anger flared in Jack's eyes, and he stood, moving around, and gesturing dramatically to emphasize his point. Ralph hung his head.

"Jack...my father...if word got out...he...he'd..." He didn't need to say anymore. The fire in Jack's blue eyes went out in an instant, and he moved slowly towards the smaller boy. Placing one hand either side of Ralph's face, he gently tilted his head upwards, and kissed his forehead.

"Don't you worry about your father. We'll be careful, I promise, and if word gets out, then, then I'll keep you safe, okay?"

Ralph moved forwards, hugging Jack tightly, and feeling arms wrap around him in return. He mumbled a thank you into the redhead's shoulder, and the two of them remained in a silent embrace for some time while he worked up the courage to ask a vital question.

"Does Roger know?"

Jack hesitated, drawing back to look at the other.

"Does Roger know what?"

"Does he know about us?" The long pause that followed gave Ralph his answer.

"Yes. ...But he won't tell anybody." Ralph sighed, looking down again.

"How did he find out?" The choir leader looked away, clearly unsure if telling him was the right idea, then looking back after concluding that it was.

"He's known about me for a long time. When things changed between us, he noticed, and when he asked, I told him. I should have let you know, but you don't have to worry, he's not going to tell anyone." Jack reached for Ralph's hand, but he pulled it away.

"How can you be sure? He could be spreading it around without us knowing."

"He won't tell, he's the same way."

Ralph finally understood Roger's constant staring at Simon. He moved his hand back toward Jack's, and, their fingers interlocked. A soft smile lit up the fair boy's features, and he looked up at the freckled face he had grown to adore.

"Do you think we should set them up?"

"Who?"

"Roger and Simon."

Jack mirrored Ralph's smile, only his was closer to mocking.

"I thought you'd decided Roger was bad for him. What made you change your mind?"

"Well, I used to think you were bad for me. ...You probably are actually, but I'm not sure I care. Maybe Simon won't care either." Jack smirked, that smirk that used to make Ralph cringe, but now caused butterflies to fill his stomach.

"How are we going to do it?"

Ralph thought for a minute, trying to figure out anything the two boys could have in common, which was quite difficult, since he didn't know Roger very well at all.

"Well, Simon loves singing. He's always been too nervous to audition for the choir, but I think I could convince him. He's good, so letting him in wouldn't be a bad move."

"I don't know...we hardly ever take on new members, it might look a little weird. Besides, Roger doesn't even really talk to most the members, I'm not sure it would work."

"I'm sure it would. I can probably convince Simon to audition, but he will be really nervous. I'm not going to lie, he's a fainter, but that just gives Roger a chance to look after him. And if he does, Simon will start seeing a softer side of him. He couldn't drag his eyes away when the guy smiled, if he woke up to see that Roger was the one looking after him, they'd be together in no time."

"Provided Simon's actually into guys, which we don't know he is." Jack chimed in, and Ralph frowned. That was the one thing he hadn't thought of.

"I'll find out if he is."

"How?"

"I don't think Simon would tell anyone about us no matter what, so, if I tell him, maybe he'll tell me."


	5. Chapter 5

The hardest part of the plan was to get Simon alone to talk to him. It wasn't like when Ralph needed to talk to Jack, and he could just drop a note on the desk in class, that was easy, but getting Simon alone was difficult. Every time Ralph thought he had succeeded, Piggy appeared. It wouldn't have mattered if he was willing to tell both of them his secret, but he wasn't. If Piggy found out there was no doubt he would tell. Everyone in the school would know within a week, so it just wasn't possible.

It was Friday when he finally managed to get Simon on his own, but only just. He had to grab Simon's arm to get him to stay in the classroom, and told him he had a question. He had to bluff for a few minutes while everybody else left, then he could tell him what he really wanted to say.

"Hang on, Ralph, I'm confused, what do you need to ask me?"

"Nothing. Sorry...this is just...it's kind of a big secret, no one can find out." Ralph started to explain, nervous now he was actually going to tell someone about him and Jack. "Can you promise me you'll keep this to yourself?"

"Of course, I promise I won't tell a soul."

"Well...it...it's about Jack." Simon's expression grew worried, and he gently put his hand on Ralph's arm in a bid to be reassuring.

"What has he done to you?"

"What? No! Nothing! He hasn't done anything to me. It's not a bad thing. ...Well, it is, but...but not really...not to us..." He trailed off, not quite sure how to actually tell Simon what he wanted to.

"Ralph, what are you talking about? What's going on with Jack?" He just had to go for it now, and hope for the best.

"It's not just about Jack, it's about me too. See, we're...we're sort of...sweethearts." His words were greeted with a blank look.

"What?"

"Me and Jack...we're, a couple."

"But...but you hate each other. You've been fighting almost everyday." Well, at least Ralph knew their show had been working, Simon honestly thought they were still enemies.

"It's all fake now. Everybody expects us to fight, so we do, it's a cover, so no one gets suspicious, and it's an excuse to be close to each other."

Simon nodded slowly, trying to get his head around this new information.

"So, who else knows? Have you told anybody else?"

"No. I've only told you. And, Jack told Roger." Ralph answered, shaking his head. Simon's eyes widened slightly in surprise.

"Roger? Why would he tell Roger? Isn't he dangerous with that kind of information?"

"Jack trusts him not to tell anybody, and so do I." The small boy nodded again, looking as though he was deep in thought. Suddenly, he adopted a more excited air, and grinned at Ralph, surprising him somewhat.

"How long have you been together?"

"Um, not that long, three weeks, maybe four."

"I can't believe you didn't tell me sooner. If it were me I wouldn't have been able to keep it a secret for this long." He put his bag down on the desk, willing to have an in depth conversation with the young group leader now he had a better understanding of what was happening. "What's it like? Being Jack's boyfriend?"

Ralph opened his mouth to answer, then paused, pondering Simon's choice of words. It was odd, he'd never thought of himself as Jack's boyfriend before, but, it was a pretty nice thought. He had a boyfriend, he was someone's boyfriend. Somehow, that tiny realisation made the whole thing seem more real somehow, and Ralph smiled without noticing, but Simon did.

"Aw, you must really like him." He said, snapping Ralph out of his thoughts.

"Yeah, I do. It's weird, I used to think he was annoying and immature, but now, it's like he's a totally different person. He just wants to hold my hand all the time, and we've cuddled a couple times, which was really nice, and kissing him is nice too-"

"-You've _kissed_!? What's it like!?" Simon interrupted, his eyes wide again, but in fascination this time, and a light blush rose on Ralph's cheeks.

"Well, most the time, it's really soft, and gentle, like he doesn't want to make me uncomfortable, even though he knows he's not going to, but, sometimes, well...sometimes he gets a little...carried away. Those kisses are sort of the best. He just holds me really close, and it's all kind of rough, but sweet at the same time...I don't really know how to describe it..." He trailed off, put off by his desire not to reveal everything they had done, even though it wasn't much, as well as the excitement in Simon's eyes.

"Wow. That must be amazing."

"Yeah, I guess it is." There was a slight pause in the conversation, during which Ralph saw an opportunity, and seized it. "Hey, if you were looking for anything...I know somebody who has a crush on you."

"What!?" Simon exclaimed, before quickly adding, "Who?"

"...Roger."

Simon's cheeks flooded red, and Ralph smiled. He hadn't even had to ask him to find out he was interested.

"No way. Roger? Liking me? That's crazy. He's not even...I mean...he can't be, he's too...Roger."

"He is, and he does. Jack told me." Simon's blush grew even deeper, and a smile began to tug at the corners of his mouth.

"What should I do?"

"Why are you asking me?"

"You're the one with a boyfriend."

"Yeah, but that's different. Jack's the one that came on to me." Ralph couldn't help but smile at that, decided to file it away until he had an opportunity to use it against Jack. In a caring way, of course.

"How?" It was a perfectly innocent question, but the answer wasn't quite as innocent. There was no way Ralph could tell him that he had gotten turned on during a fight, or that he had then had his first kiss while grinding on Jack in the middle of a classroom.

"..You know, that's not important. It wouldn't work for you two anyway. But don't you worry, because I have a plan."


	6. Chapter 6

"You know, I'm not sure this is such a good idea. As far as plans go, I'm not even sure this will work. I just have to audition for the choir, it seems too simple. It'll never work." Simon said uncertainly. Ralph had explained his plan to him a few days before, and now he was trying to prepare for his choir audition. Needless to say, he was extremely nervous, for more than one reason.

"Trust me Simon, it'll be fine. Besides, you don't need to do very much today, this is just the first step. Depending on what happens today, we'll work out what you should do next." Ralph coaxed, hoping to make sure he wasn't going to back out.

"What if it goes badly? What if I don't get in?"

"Don't worry. I had a talk with Jack, unless the other members put up a massive fight, you'll get in, and I don't think they'll protest that much. You're a really good singer, and, in the choir, Jack's word is practically law." Simon nodded slowly, slightly comforted by the words of the other, but still extremely nervous. A glance at the clock told him he had to get going, and, after taking a deep breath, he began making his way to the music room.

The choir was already waiting for him when he got there, and he swallowed thickly as he walked into the room. With shaking hands, he placed his music on the stand, opening the booklet to the first page. The room spun as the piano started playing, and before anyone knew what was happening, Simon was face down on the floor.

Most of the choirboys looked at each other in a 'what just happened?' kind of way, but Jack and Roger had a different reaction. Jack had been warned of this particular tendency, so simply sighed, trying to act as though it was an inconvenience, and Roger, who had no such knowledge, was panicked, staring at Simon with wide, concerned eyes, but didn't dare to move for fear of raising suspicion.

"Will somebody go and pick him up." Jack ordered dryly, keeping his wording open so no one would know he was directing the command at Roger. The dark haired boy obeyed instantly, not giving anyone else the opportunity to do so, and scooped Simon up, glaring at a few of the choir members until they stood from their seats and lined them up so they could be used as a makeshift bed.

"Now what are we going to do, Merridew?" Henry, one of the choir boys, asked, annoyed that he no longer had a seat. Jack thought for a moment, trying to come up with a good way to give Roger and Simon some privacy without forcing everyone out of the room.

"Well...Roger, you look after Simon, make sure he doesn't start fitting or something." He said, waving his hand dismissively at the unconscious boy. "And the rest of us will practice until he wakes up. Come on, get into position, facing me. We need to get these songs right, and I don't think you've been practising as much as you should."

Roger nodded at Jack, his own subtle way of showing his gratitude, then sat on the floor beside Simon's head. Jack's clever addition of having the choir boys facing him meant that none of them could see the other two, and that gave Roger the confidence to do something he never would have dared to do otherwise. Very gently, he lifted one hand, placing it on Simon's forehead, under the guise of checking to see if he had a fever, just in case anyone turned around, and, even more gently, threaded his fingers into the dark hair, sighing silently at how soft it felt. He stayed like that for quite some time, just feeling Simon's soft hair between his fingers, until he began to stir. The temptation to leave his hand there, and let Simon wake up to the feeling of being petted, was almost irresistible, but it couldn't be done, so Roger drew his hand back, and simply watched as Simon's eyes fluttered open.

Since Simon had no idea he had been moved onto chairs, he didn't realise he would have to support himself carefully to stop himself from slipping as he sat up, so when he lifted his torso, one of the chairs skidded along the floor, and the poor boy atop of it almost fell. The only thing that stopped him was Roger, who darted forwards, catching the smaller boy so he wouldn't hit the floor again.

No words were shared between the two of them. None were needed. Both were well aware that Roger's arms were more than welcome around Simon's delicate frame, and he was more than happy to keep them there. As their eyes locked, they could see clearly the concern and affection that was clouding Roger's rational thinking, and the oddly pleasant nerves and happiness that was overwhelming Simon. Neither had to discuss anything, or confirm what was happening, both of them just leaned in instinctively, their lips meeting in the most gentle of kisses.

After no more than a second, Roger pulled back, reality having hit him, and glanced towards the choir, alerting Simon of their presence. He helped the, still slightly groggy, boy stand, then withdrew his arms, though it was done reluctantly.

"Ralph! Ralph! It worked! Your plan worked!" Simon yelled happily, bursting into the room Ralph was waiting in.

"It did? That quickly? What happened?" Despite the group leader's confusion, Simon laughed, flopping down into a chair, and sighing.

"We kissed." Was all he said, as he was too busy staring out the window, with a dreamy expression on his face.

"Really? How'd it happen?"

"Well, I sort of passed out, and when I woke up I was lying on these chairs. One slipped when I tried to move, and I almost fell, but, but then Roger caught me, and, we kissed."

"Just like that?" Ralph asked, frowning in disbelief.

"Just like that."

"Wow."

"Why are you so shocked? I thought things between you and Jack, just happened. It can't be that different."

"Oh yes it can."

"Really? So how did it happen between you and Jack?"

"Believe me Simon, you don't want to know."

Simon crossed his arms, trying to show he was stubborn, but just looking like an insanely happy person crossing their arms.

"Believe me Ralph, I really do."

"Fine, you really want to know? Our first kiss wasn't...it wasn't...the first thing we did. Okay."

"So, what was the first thing you did?"

A deep blush appeared on Ralph's cheeks, and he looked away in an attempt to hide it.

"...I don't want to say."

"Oh come on Ralph, it's not like I'm going to tell anybody."

"I know that, but I still don't want to say."

"Come on, please tell me. What was the first thing you and Jack did together?"

"The first thing we did was grind on each other until we got hard. Isn't that right, Ralphie?" Jack's voice suddenly sounded from the doorway, and both boys looked up to see the redhead with his trademark smirk on his face, and Roger standing behind him. Ralph's blush grew even darker as Simon got over the shock of seeing the two in the room, and understood what it was Jack had said.

"No way! Seriously?"

"Oh yeah. Goldilocks here is pretty good at it too." Ralph could almost _hear_ Jack's smirk growing as he made his way over, and he couldn't help that he sounded like he was snapping when he spoke.

"What are you doing here Jack?"

"Well, Roger wanted to check on Simon, and I wanted to do this." Ralph didn't even have a chance to say 'what' before Jack's lips were on his own. For a moment, Ralph let him have his way, then pulled back, still blushing deeply.

"Jack, we can't do that in front of people." He protested. Jack glanced over at the other two boys, and chuckled. They were sat only inches apart, and Roger had one hand on Simon's face, and the other intertwined with Simon's.

"It doesn't look like they care all that much, Ralphie. In fact, I'm not sure they'd notice anything we do."

And with that, Jack's lips were on his again.


	7. Chapter 7

In an odd way, Ralph became rather jealous of his friend's new relationship. He knew it was stupid, after all, he had Jack, and things between them were great. But, things between Simon and Roger just seemed...better. Neither of them were as worried as Ralph about being found out, so they were more open to taking little risks. Even though they were sat at the front of the class, they had no trouble letting their hands touch on the desk, or 'accidentally' bumping their knees together. Ralph had even seen them risk a tiny kiss during P.E. once. And when the four boys found an empty room at lunch, and all relaxed, safe with the knowledge that they wouldn't be found, the other couple seemed to have a deeper connection.

They would sit as close to each other as they possibly could, in fact, most of the time Simon sat on Roger's lap, and they cuddled that way, and whispered sweetly to one another, sharing inside jokes and gentle kisses. It was quite a contrast to Jack and Ralph, who sat either side of a desk, more often than not holding hands, but not always, firing sarcastic comments back and forth while finishing bits of work, and every now and again, Jack would lean over the desk and demand Ralph's lips for a moment. A lot of the time, the kisses were relatively rough, and sometimes, they were sweet, but they were never as sweet as the kisses the other's shared, and it bothered the fair leader.

It wasn't that he wasn't happy for Simon, he was, it just bothered him that his friend was in a better relationship than he was, when he and Jack had been dating for a month longer. And he had to pretend it was all fine, because he didn't want anybody knowing he was jealous, he was Ralph Harrington, he didn't get jealous. Except that he did.

What he didn't know, was Jack was feeling the same way. While lacking whispered sweet nothings didn't bother him, the stories he heard from Roger each week did. Was he ever going to force Ralph into something that he didn't want to do? He didn't think so. But that didn't mean he was happy about the fact that Simon was willing to do so much more than his own boyfriend, and after such a short time as well.

The turning point for the young redhead was an extra choir practise on a Saturday afternoon. Roger sauntered in, looking particularly proud of himself, and Simon entered a short while later, looking rather uncomfortable while walking. It didn't take long for Jack to work out why the two were like that, and his blood boiled. He and Ralph hadn't done anything of that nature since their first kiss, and until that moment, Jack had been alright with that. All weekend he tried to work out how to raise the subject. Ralph wasn't overly physical, that much he knew, but there had to be some way of convincing him. Was there any way to turn it into a challenge? That had worked the first time. By the time he got to school on Monday, he still didn't have a clue how to go about it. But Roger clearly did, so he really had no choice but to ask.

Getting him alone was easy, but actually asking wasn't.

"Hey, look, this...this is a little weird, but...I have a question." The other boy said nothing, but continued to hold his gaze on Jack's face, so he knew he could ask whatever he wanted. "...You and Simon...you've...done...stuff. Right?" He got a nod in response, and swallowed. "Have you...done... _it_?"

"No."

"Really? But, I thought, I mean, on Saturday it sure looked like-"

"No." Roger repeated. Now Jack was just confused.

"But...if that wasn't why, then-" Roger cut him off again.

"I have hands."

He hadn't said anything outright outrageous, but it was enough to make Jack's eyes widen. He honestly hadn't known it was possible to get someone in that condition just using your hands.

"O..kay. But, how do you get him to go along with it?"

A small, proud glint appeared in Roger's dark eyes.

"Is your little toy not letting you play?" Jack looked away, a tiny hint of a blush on his cheeks, and Roger chuckled. "There's no secret to it. I can do pretty much whatever I want, because Simon wants it too. You just have to do what Ralph wants."

"But that's the thing, he doesn't want. At all. All I can ever get is hand holding and kissing. I hardly ever even get to use my tongue."

"Then find out what he likes. Even if he's reluctant, find his weakness, and he'll melt."

"And how am I supposed to do that?"

"Just try stuff, test the water."

So that was what he did. He tried everything he could think of; randomly appearing behind Ralph and wrapping his arms around him; groping his butt when they kissed; kissing his neck, not enough to leave a hickey, but enough to make the skin red at the time; but nothing seemed to work. By the end of the week, he hadn't managed to get Ralph stimulated at all. Something had to be done, and he had a chance to make sure it was.

 _My parents are out tonight._ It was a fairly vague note, but it was a note none the less, and it got him a step closer to his goal.

 ** _Okay. Why are you telling me that?_**

 _Just so you know. I thought maybe you might like to come over. We'd have some time to ourselves, without the worry of somebody walking in on us._

 ** _I guess that could be nice. I'm not sure I'll be allowed to though. You know how strict my father is._**

 _Tell him you're tutoring me. I'm sure he'd let you out the house for that._

 ** _Okay. But I'm not promising anything._**

It was agreed that Ralph would be at Jack's house at 6pm, if he was allowed, which neither boy was sure he would be. Despite the doubts that he would even be there, Jack made sure he was prepared. He wore one of his best shirts, and debated wearing a tie, but decided that would make the whole thing look too rehearsed. For the first time in about a month, he actually made his bed, tidying the whole room so it was presentable, then neatening the rest of the house a little once his parents had left for the evening. He even considered lighting his mother's candle, to give the rooms a pleasant smell, but he knew she would notice when she returned, and then he'd be in trouble, so he did a little bit of dusting instead, figuring that if the place looked nice, then that would be okay, and 'borrowed' the smallest amount of his father's cologne. Then he sat by the window and waited.

At quarter past six, he began to get nervous, and by half past, he had all but given up hope that Ralph was going to arrive. He was about to retreat upstairs to his room when there was finally a knock at the door, and he practically ran to open it. Just as he had hoped, there stood Ralph, looking slightly nervous himself, and holding a bag with a few schoolbooks shoved in it.

"Sorry I'm late. My father just kept asking questions."

"Don't worry about it. Come in."

Ralph entered the house, and the two boys sat in awkward silence for some time. Stolen moments at school were one thing, there was just the right amount of risk to make things exciting, but this, knowing they were completely alone, with no risk of being found, that was new territory, and neither of them were quite sure how to handle it.

"So, um...where are your parents?"

"They're at a dinner party. Shouldn't be back until late."

"Oh, cool. So, guess we've got a few hours together then."

"Yeah. We do. ...How do you want to spend them?"

"Um...I'm not sure. ...Maybe...do you...want to cuddle?" Ralph asked, his eyes darting towards the redhead, then away again.

"Sure."

Deciding they were going to cuddle was simple enough, but actually cuddling wasn't. After a few minutes of awkward shifting, they ended up in a rather uncomfortable position, with Ralph tucked against Jack's side. The smaller boy couldn't help feeling jealous once again, for it had never looked this difficult when Simon and Roger cuddled.

Again, something had to be done, and Jack took matters into his own hands, moving to kiss Ralph. The smaller boy was shocked at first, but, having grown accustomed to random kisses from Jack, only took a second before kissing back. The kiss was kept gentle to start with, but when Ralph tried to pull back, thinking it was just a regular kiss, Jack's hand moved to the back of his neck, holding him in place, and he pressed their lips together more fiercely. From there, their positions shifted more naturally, until Ralph was lying on the sofa, with Jack on top of him, their lips still locked together in what felt like an everlasting kiss. It wasn't until the redhead desperately needed air that he allowed their lips to part, though he planted smaller kisses on Ralph's neck between breaths, desperate not to let the moment disappear.

"Jack..." Ralph whispered softly, trying to draw the other's attention back to him.

"Mm?"

"Look at me." As soon as Jack obeyed, Ralph stole another kiss, wrapping his arms around the other's neck and holding him close. Smirking into the kiss, Jack took a risk, and nibbled Ralph's bottom lip. The gasp he received was opportunity enough, and he slipped his tongue through the blonde's open lips. For a moment, it was bliss, then Ralph pulled away.

"Jack, what are you doing?" He asked, frowning up at Jack.

"Nothing. I was just kissing you."

"Not nothing, we've never kissed like that before."

"So?"

Ralph sat up, pushing the larger boy off of him as he did so.

"So...it's...strange."

"But, a good strange, right?" Jack asked hopefully. Ralph stood up, taking a few steps forwards, and facing away from his red-headed boyfriend.

"I don't know. It's just...strange."

"How?" Jack was starting to get irritated now, and stood as well.

"I don't know."

"Stop saying that! I thought you were up for that, if nothing else! If you aren't, you shouldn't have come!"

"You asked me to come! I didn't think you just wanted me here to make out!"

"If I didn't, why would I have picked a day when my parents aren't home?! It's pretty obvious Ralph! What did you think you were coming here for?!"

"Oh I don't know, maybe, AFFECTION, since I never seem to get any at school!"

"Well you'd get a lot more if you didn't always insist on doing your homework whenever we get time together!"

"I wouldn't always insist on doing my homework if you didn't sit as far away from me as you can get!"

"It's the other side of a desk Ralph! It's not a million miles! And maybe I'd sit closer if you'd actually ever kiss me!"

"I do kiss you!"

"No you don't, I kiss you! You've only ever kissed me once!"

"You want me to kiss you?! Fine! Here's your stinking kiss!" With that, Ralph rushed back towards Jack, slamming their lips together with such force that the two of them stumbled backwards. Jack only just managed to get enough balance back to stop them from falling, and wrapped his arms around the smaller boy.

Ralph felt the other smiling against his lips, and swore in his head. Whatever kind of contest this was, Jack was winning, and he couldn't let that happen. As suddenly as he had started it, he ended the kiss, and pushed the now slightly startled choir master into a chair, then climbing on top of him, one leg either side of him. Thinking back to the classroom event, he tried to find the angle that affected Jack the most, and ground his hips down. The first few attempts didn't get him the right reaction, and, more determined now than before, he gave a quiet growl, shifting angle, and trying again, applying a bit more pressure than before. Almost instantly, Jack's head fell back, and his eyes shut. Ralph grinned, and repeated the action. Hands flew to his hips, holding him in place, and as he ground down, Jack rolled his hips up. The added movement was just what it took for Jack's eyes close, and as they did, a short moan escaped his lips.

Ralph's grin began to shrink, but stayed in place. After all, he was winning, despite the fact that his own breaths were getting faster, as well as louder, and he was starting to lose control of his hips.

He ground down again, applying even more pressure, and, once again, Jack's hips moved up. This time it was Ralph's turn to moan, and he did so, tipping his head back and letting out a lustful cry. Jack smirked, and attacked the other's neck with kisses, sucking on patches that he found to be particularly sensitive. The blonde continued to grind down, digging his nails into Jack's shoulders, and moaning when he hit a sensitive part of his neck. Jack found one bit of skin that made him moan extra loud when he sucked on it, and grinned, before biting down on it, gently at first, then harder when he heard Ralph's passionate cries. The smaller boy grew hard almost instantly, and shifted a little, arching against Jack's chest as he continued to grind down. It wasn't long before Jack's trousers began to tighten as well, and he pulled his head back, smirking at the quiet whimpers from Ralph as the sensitive skin on his neck was finally allowed to cool, and moved to whisper in his ear.

"How about we take this upstairs."

At first it appeared Ralph was going to refuse, but Jack acted quickly, gently palming the bulge in Ralph's trousers. His eyes fluttered closed, and he gave a small nod, allowing Jack to take charge, which he did without hesitation.

Getting Ralph to wrap his legs around his waist, Jack carried him upstairs, sitting on his neatly made bed in the same position they had been in downstairs, and captured the soft lips with his own, palming the tender bulge again. He waited until Ralph was comfortable enough in the new environment to start grinding again, more gently now, and then he flicked the button on his trousers open. Ralph gasped, pulling back, and Jack smirked, locking their gazes together. Since the smaller boy didn't protest, he continued, pushing the fabric out of the way, and palming him through his underwear. Ralph was too shocked to moan, but the feeling was too intense for him to do nothing, so husky sighs and loud panting were the noises that escaped him. Their eyes were still locked together when Jack got a little bit braver, and tugged at the top of Ralph's underwear. He waited, giving the other a chance to tell him to stop, but all he got was a look of lustful anticipation, so carried on, slowly, a bit too slowly for Ralph's liking, slid his hand into the fabric, giving the hardened length an experimental stroke. Ralph arched against him again, biting down on his lip to keep from moaning. Jack wasn't going to accept that. He wanted Ralph to moan, no, he _needed_ him to.

Not wasting a second, he withdrew his hand, then picked Ralph up and dropped him on the bed, before climbing on top of him. He pressed a rough, lustful kiss to Ralph's lips, then moved quickly down, pushing his trousers and underwear down, revealing his swollen cock to the air. A shiver ran down Ralph's spine, and he squirmed as he felt Jack's hot breath on his tip.

"..Jack...Jack...stop..." He whimpered. Jack froze, looking up at him. He couldn't be stopping this now, not when they had come so far. "..What about you?"

The redhead chuckled, and ghosted his hand on the inside of Ralph's thigh.

"You can get me next time." He assured him, then, slowly, moved his head back down, gently taking Ralph's tip into his mouth, earning a lustful moan in return. A hand tangled itself into his hair, guiding him, and he began to bob up and down, taking more of Ralph into his mouth each time. His own member was aching, desperate, but he had to try his best to ignore it. But that was easier said than done, and in the end, he had to push his trousers down, taking his own member in his hand, and pumping it, needed release. Ralph's encouraging moans, and the tightening fingers in his hair spurred him on, and he came into his hand, moaning around Ralph. The added stimulation was too much for the blonde, and he came hard, screaming Jack's name in pleasure.

"Okay...I am...definitely...getting...you...next time." Ralph panted, snuggling up to Jack as he crawled up the bed, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand. Jack chuckled again, draping his arm over Ralph's chest. Neither of them bothered to pull their trousers up, they simply lay there, exposed, neither of them overly jealous of anything in that moment of tired bliss.


	8. Chapter 8

Neither boy had wanted Ralph to return home that evening. In fact, neither of them even wanted to leave Jack's bed. It wasn't until they heard his parents arriving home that they even pulled their trousers up, since there hadn't seemed much point beforehand, especially since Ralph had seized the opportunity to repay Jack while he had the chance. But, upon hearing the front door open, then shut again, they leapt into action, buttoning their trousers, and running their fingers through their hair to try and make themselves look as presentable as they could, which wasn't easy when Ralph had a few large purple bruises on his neck, which his boyfriend decided not to point out. Then, Jack leading the way, they headed downstairs.

"Mum, Dad, you're home early."

"Yes dear." His mother replied, removing her jacket. "One of the Fletcher children took ill, so the guests were all asked to leave. Such a shame, the food was lovely."

"Son, who's this?" His father interjected, noticing Ralph for the first time.

"Oh, this is Ralph. He's a friend from school, we're..umm..." Ralph had never seen Jack speechless before, so quickly jumped in, smiling politely at the adults.

"We're working together on a school project."

"Well, isn't that lovely. What's the project?" His mother asked. Without either of them looking at the other, both boys blurted out 'Science', breathing a silent sigh of relief that they hadn't said different subjects.

After spontaneously making up answers for a few more questions, Jack discretely passed Ralph the prop bag he had brought with him, and nudged him towards the door.

"Well, it's been lovely meeting you, Mr and Mrs Merridew, but I'm afraid I have to go now. I'll get into trouble if I stay out pat my curfew."

"Do take care of yourself Ralph." Mrs Merridew called after him, as Jack walked with him to the door. Ralph had just taken hold of the door handle, when Jack's hand shot out, holding the door closed.

"Jack, what are you-" He began, but was cut off by soft lips colliding with his own. Naturally, he pushed him away within seconds, fearful of his parents catching them, but they were in the next room, blissfully unaware, and Jack smirked.

"Nothing wrong with a goodnight kiss." He whispered. "Oh, and, here." A scarf was shoved into Ralph's hands.

"What's this for?"

"Covering up your neck. Unless you want your dad to see the bite marks. I'm surprised my parents didn't notice."

Jack hadn't even finished the explanation before Ralph put the scarf on, trying to arrange it so it hid everything. Though that was easier said than done, as he couldn't actually see his own neck. He just had to hope the marks would be gone by Monday, since he knew he would never get away with wearing the scarf at school, and people were bound to notice.

There was only one that hadn't faded by the time the weekend was over, and that was where Jack had first bitten him. While the bruise wasn't purple anymore, it was still clearly visible, with darker bits where Jack's teeth had actually touched. Ralph had to wonder how he hadn't drawn blood, and how on earth he was going to hide it. Part of him didn't want to hide it, and wanted to walk in and parade his mark around, show everybody what Jack liked to do to him, but he knew that would only get them into trouble, so he didn't dare. Instead, he angled his collar differently. There was no hiding the mark completely, but a least like that it could only be seen from certain angles.

 ** _I hope you're proud._** Was the note he dropped in front of Jack that morning.

 _Proud? What of?_

 _ **Because of you I have to sit with my hand on my neck all day. It's not comfortable at all.**_ Jack smirked.

 _Oh, that. Yes, I'm proud of that._

 ** _Well you shouldn't be, we'll be in trouble if anybody sees it._** The next reply took a little longer to write, almost as though Jack was uncertain about it.

 _Can I see it? Not now of course, but at lunch._

 ** _I guess so. But I won't have much time. Piggy's getting annoyed that Simon and I hardly sit with the group anymore, so I promised him we would._**

 _You really want to try dragging Simon away from Roger?_

 ** _I don't have much of a choice. Besides, it's not like they never spend any time apart, they have to be apart out of school, like us._**

 _Yes it is. They're literally always together, even outside of school. So if you want to try and separate them, then it's your funeral._

 ** _Really? How are they still a secret then?_**

 _I have no idea. The amount of times they've kissed during choir practise, it's crazy, I don't know how none of the others have noticed._

Ralph almost had to run from the classroom to avoid Piggy at the start of lunch. For once it was a good thing that Piggy had asthma, since it meant he couldn't run after him. Simon was already long gone, probably already in the usual room with Roger, and Jack always waited a few minutes before he went, taking a different route that made it look like he was headed for the music room, so the blonde wasn't surprised to find that Jack wasn't there when he arrived, but Simon and Roger were sat together in the corner. It didn't take long for Jack to arrive, and as soon as the door closed behind him he was over by Ralph, tugging his collar out of the way to reveal the mark, and grinning as soon as he did.

"Oh yeah, I am definitely proud of that." He said quietly, running his fingers over the bruised skin.

"Of course you are. You better not do it again, hiding it isn't easy." Ralph instructed, and Jack chuckled.

Over in the corner, Simon giggled quietly, drawing the attention of the other two.

"Roger, stop it." He said playfully, half pushing Roger away, but the dark haired boy didn't go, he simply wrapped his arms around Simon's torso, and continued feathering his neck with kisses. Jack narrowed his eyes, determined not to be beaten, and pulled Ralph into a rough kiss.

"Jack." Ralph started, when Jack broke the kiss after no more than a few seconds. "You know I can't stay...long..." He trailed off, a shiver running down his spine as Jack's tongue lapped at the bruise on his neck. Jack grinned against the darkened skin, then, knowing Roger was watching, bit down on it. At first, Ralph bit his lip, stopping any noises from escaping, but as Jack bit down harder, he couldn't hold them back, and a loud, albeit slightly strangled, cry flew from his lips. Jack ran his tongue over the hot flesh once more, then returned to Ralph's lips.

"Jack..."Ralph panted, pulling back just enough to speak. "...Jack...not...not here." Strong arms snaked around his waist, pulling him closer until their chests were pressed tightly together.

"Why not?"

"Because...because..." Ralph's mind went blank. He really couldn't think of a reason, though there were two sitting in the corner of the room, and a third was the room itself. But he couldn't think of any, so he didn't say one, he just pressed his lips to Jack's again, wrapping his legs around his waist. Jack chuckled against Ralph's lips, kissing him until he ran out of air, then lowering him so he was standing on his own again.

"Oh Ralphie, I hate to admit this, but, you're right, not here." He said softly, planting one final kiss on the smaller boy's lips, before retracting his arms, and arranging Ralph's collar so it would hide the mark, which was now a much deeper colour again, a purple bruise already rising beneath the fading greenish one. A glance towards the corner of the room told him that Simon would soon have a similar mark on the base of his neck, and, which satisfaction in that fact that Ralph's bruise was darker and contained tooth marks, Jack smirked, knowing a competition between the two choir boys had begun.


	9. Chapter 9

It was hard to determine who was winning the contest, since it was undecided what they were being judged on.

Roger felt that he was winning, since Simon's neck and shoulders were covered in little marks, to the point that he had had to feign stomach cramps to get out of showering after P.E. But Jack was certain he was victorious, because, although Ralph didn't have nearly as many marks as Simon, the ones he did have were much larger, and much darker, than any of the ones Roger had inflicted.

With no way of deciding a winner, the competition could well have carried on for weeks, but the boys were competitive, and didn't bother trying to hide when they were competing, so it didn't take Ralph long to work out that Jack had an ulterior motive for the sudden obsession with animalistic affection.

He purposefully waited a while one lunch before going to their usual room, sitting with Piggy for the first half of the hour, then excusing himself, claiming he had homework to finish, and heading off to meet Jack. He was determined not to let himself be distracted until he had an explanation, and that meant keeping Jack off of his neck. He didn't quite know how to do that, but he took a shot, deciding to sit on the redhead as opposed to beside him.

He allowed the initial greeting kiss to his lips, but as soon as Jack attempted to place his lips on Ralph's neck, he put one hand on his shoulder, and gently pushed the choir leader back.

"Jack, we need to talk." He said quietly, so the other couple in the room wouldn't hear.

"Alright...about what?" There really wasn't any alternative but to say it outright.

"...Why have you been so fixated on my neck recently?" Jack hesitated, debating whether or not to tell the truth right away.

"I just..I like seeing you all marked up."

"Jack, come on. It's getting ridiculous. I'm having trouble hiding these bruises, and if anybody sees them...we're going to get caught. You have to stop." Jack sighed, wrapping his arms around Ralph's waist, and pulling him closer.

"I know, but, I can't." He muttered, looking down.

"Why not?" Blue eyes found Ralph's in an instant, ringed with icy fire that sent shivers down the blonde's spine.

"Because then he'll win." The words came out as a hiss, and Ralph almost, _almost_ , gave in. He had to fight to stop himself allowing Jack full access to his neck.

"Who'll win?" He whispered, unable to muster any more of his voice.

"Roger."

Any traces of arousal vanished, replaced now with confusion and annoyance.

"What?" Was the only question he managed to ask.

"If I stop, Roger will win." Jack clarified, an uncertain tone to his voice as he realised Ralph was starting to get mad at him.

"So, are you telling me, that the reason Simon and I are covered in marks, marks that could very easily destroy our relationships if anybody notices them, is because you and Roger are having a stupid contest?" He asked, his voice unintentionally growing louder, alerting the other couple to the fact that an argument was beginning.

"Well...yes, sort of." Ralph pulled his hand off of Jack's shoulder, and it was only Jack's loose hold around his waist that kept him on his lap.

"Why would you do that? You know we have to be careful! If you really needed to compete over something, you could have picked anything, but no, you had to go with that! Why would you be so stupid, Jack?"

"Because...because..." Noticing Roger and Simon watching the scene play out, Jack trailed off, unable to explain himself with witnesses present. With no explanation, Ralph stood, and Jack knew better than to protest.

"Fine, don't tell me! But until I have an explanation, don't expect me to let you kiss me, on my neck, or anywhere else!" Jack didn't respond, and Ralph stormed out of the room, unable to cope with a one sided argument. He wasn't used to that, Jack always fought back, always. In fact, usually he initiated the fight, so this was totally new territory. But, if either had been able to think past their current main emotion, (frustration in Ralph's case, embarrassment in Jack's), they would have found that it was actually a rather appealing new twist in their relationship.

"Where else do you usually kiss him?" Simon asked Jack, after a long period of silence. He was confused by the fuel for the sudden argument, but more than that, Ralph's ending statement, and Roger sniggered as Jack turned red.

"Nowhere, just his lips." He defended quickly, looking down to try and hide his blush, but that was fairly pointless.

"Sure, just his lips." Roger repeated sarcastically, a smug grin on his lips. Both choir boys knew their competition was over, and that Roger had won, but that didn't stop him rubbing it in, and dipping his head down to press a row of gentle kisses on Simon's neck, making him giggle quietly. Jack growled, grabbed his bag, and left, not wanting to watch the two of them any longer, and also hopeful that he might bump into Ralph.

As luck would have it, Ralph hadn't gotten very far. He had planned to return to Piggy and Sam'n'Eric, but he had only gotten about halfway down one corridor when emotion overwhelmed him, and he had to duck into a bathroom to avoid anyone seeing that he was in tears. He just felt so stupid. For a while, he had thought that Jack just fixated on his neck because he really did like seeing him marked up. While the marks were dangerous, Ralph couldn't deny, he liked them. He liked to look at them in the mirror at home, and felt as though they were some form of signature, marking him as Jack's, and it made him feel special. He was the only one that wore them, with their slightly darker patches were Jack's teeth dug into his flesh, hard enough to leave real bite marks, but somehow never hard enough to draw blood, because Jack knew just what the right level of pressure was. Looking in the mirror now, standing in the middle of the cold school bathroom, he wasn't so sure he liked them. These bruises weren't for Jack to see, they weren't things that stayed between the two of them, they weren't special. They were for Roger. So that he would see that Jack could inflict marks that Roger wouldn't dare leave on Simon's delicate skin. It made Ralph's stomach turn.

Did that mean that other things were Roger too? When Jack had invited Ralph to his home, when they had spent time together, in a sexual way, was that just so that Jack would be able to brag about it later? Was any of their relationship for the two of them, or had it all been a contest, to see who could get a boyfriend first, and then when they both did, they had to come up with other things to compete on? Ralph knew he was probably being stupid thinking that, of course it hadn't all been a contest, but he was upset, he was wounded, and he couldn't get the thoughts out of his mind once they were in there, so tears continued to run down his face. He could have stayed in front of that mirror for hours, but he heard a teacher's voice, asking where someone was going, and then a student replying that he was going to the bathroom, and the blonde bolted, rushing into a cubicle, slamming the door behind him, and turning the lock as quickly as he could, leaving his bag by the sinks in his haste. He covered his mouth, trying to hide the short, gasping breaths that came with crying, and listened to the door open, then shut, and then the slow footsteps on the floor.

"Ralph?" He heard someone ask. He knew the voice all too well, but it couldn't be, he wouldn't have followed. The footsteps moved over to his cubicle. "Ralph, is that you?" Ralph said nothing. "Ralph, come on, it's me, Jack." So he had followed. Ralph still didn't speak, but he couldn't stop himself from sniffing, and it made a louder noise than he had hoped. "Oh Ralph, you're not crying, are you? Ralph, please come out." Ralph wasn't sure he had ever heard Jack's voice sound so gentle, and so caring, and he wanted to open the door, but something was still stopping him. No one at school had ever seen him cry before, and should anybody else walk in, they certainly couldn't see him crying in the arms of Jack Merridew.

"Look, Ralph, I'm sorry, okay. I didn't mean to make you mad with the little contest, I just...I wanted to show Roger that...that we're a better couple than them. I guess it backfired. But I'm really sorry. ...And...and I'm sorry for lying...but...I really do like seeing you marked up...and I thought that if I marked you up enough, Roger would stop being so damn smug all the time. Just because they've done more together than we have, he thinks they're better, and I...I wanted to prove that they aren't. ...I'm sorry, I won't do it again. ...Please Ralph, please say something. I know it's you, your bag's out here." Still no response, but Ralph sniffed again, and gave a sharp breath as a new wave of tears washed over him. But this time, the tears weren't sadness, or him thinking he was stupid. They were relief. Jack was jealous too. Okay, so the fact that they were both jealous of another couple probably wasn't a good sign, but now they could talk about it, find out what they were missing from their relationship, and fix it.

"Ralph, I can't stand you being in there all alone while you're crying. Please come out. Or...or I'll climb in."

Ralph smiled, and unlocked the door.

"Don't try and climb in, you'll hurt yourself." He said quietly, and Jack lunged forwards, wrapping his arms around the smaller boy tightly. Ralph returned the hug instantly, shifting so he could slot his head into the crook of Jack's neck, and breathing in deeply, loving Jack's scent. Then he got an idea, and pressed his lips to Jack's neck.

"Ralph, what are you doing?" Jack asked with a chuckle, and Ralph explained by sucking gently on a patch of skin. Jack grinned, perfectly content to maintain the hug while Ralph explored his neck. He found one bit of skin, on the join between Jack's neck and shoulder, that earned him a breathy moan when he sucked it, even just gently, and smiled against the warm flesh, before sucking harder. Jack's head tipped back, and he bit down hard on his lip. The reversal of their usual roles made the whole experience somehow more arousing, and when Ralph bit down on the skin, both of them moaned, though Jack started first.

The bruise that decorated Jack's neck wasn't nearly as dark as any of Ralph's, but it was still clearly there, marking Jack as his the same way he was marked as Jack's.

"You know what I think." Jack began, as the two of them stood in front of the mirror, arranging their collars to hide their bruises.

"What?"

"I think we should argue more often."

"What? Why?"

"Because good things happen when we argue. That fight at the start of the year told me I had a shot with you, our fight a couple weeks ago led to us sucking each other, and now this."

"That doesn't mean arguments are good, Jack." Ralph protested, but he was smiling all the same.

"I know, I'm just saying, good things follow them. You know that saying 'never go to bed angry'? I don't think that applies to us."


	10. Chapter 10

In a strange way, Ralph learning that Jack was jealous of Roger and Simon, and later informing him that he wasn't the only one feeling that way, really improved their relationship. They didn't even have to change anything for the two of them to be more comfortable. Just talking about it, and coming to the realisation that they didn't need to be as cuddly, or as physical, as the other couple was enough to strengthen them. They had a relationship that worked for them. Sarcastic comments worked better than sweet comments and compliments, though neither quite understood why. They just knew that the small kisses that followed quips and playful insults were much better than the ones that followed actual sweet-talk. Then there were the spontaneous kisses. It had come to their attention that Roger's spontaneous kisses were different to their own, and he always waited for permission before actually kissing Simon, and that was why Ralph felt that the spontaneous kisses Jack gave him were much better. He never gave the blonde any warning, he just chose a moment, and went for it. It didn't matter if they were directly beside each other, or on opposite sides of the room, when Jack decided they were going to kiss, he was there in an instant, and their lips were together.

It actually made them more confident in every aspect of their relationship. Jack had even decided to randomly kiss Ralph in the middle of a lesson.

They were in the middle of a test in class, so the room was silent, and the teacher was just wandering around, making sure no one was cheating. Jack waited until his back was turned, taking full advantage of the fact they sat at the back, and, to get his attention, seized Ralph's hand, without the cover of the desk to hide it. Ralph looked up at him questioningly, and was met by his trademark smirk, which lasted only a moment, then he moved forward, crashing their lips together. For the first couple of seconds, Ralph returned the kiss, then, as he remembered where they were, he pushed Jack away, his cheeks burning a deep red, and looked around to ensure no one had seen them. It certainly appeared that they were safe, but still, he couldn't let Jack get away with that. Unfortunately, since the room was so quiet, he couldn't speak to tell him off, and since they were in test conditions, he couldn't pass a note either, so he simply shot the other an unimpressed glare, before attempting to return his focus to the test, though he couldn't quite concentrate with the taste of Jack's lips fresh on his own. He made sure he got the opportunity to scold him at lunch though.

"Jack, what on earth were you playing at?" He asked, as soon as the redhead appeared in their regular lunchtime safe-room.

"What do you mean Ralphie?" He feigned innocence, but there was a mischievous glint in his blue eyes.

"You know what I mean. You can't kiss me during class."

"I got away with it, didn't I? Nobody saw."

"But they could have done. Very easily."

"But they didn't. So I don't see a problem." Ralph sighed, and crossed his arms.

"Jack, the problem is that they could have, and if you get too used to thinking you can get away with stuff like that, somebody will. You know the rules, when we're at school, this is the only place that we can kiss."

"Alright." The smirk from before returned. "I hope you don't mind if I take full advantage of that rule." He said, then dumped his bag on a desk, and moved over to where Ralph was stood, grabbing his wrist and pulling him forward so they would meet sooner. Then, he wrapped one arm around Ralph's waist, holding the two of them against each other, moved the other hand into Ralph's hair, and clutched at it, before pressing their lips together. Ralph melted in Jack's arms, the roughness of the hand in his hair and the arm tight around his waist contrasting with the soft kiss, and wrapped his arms around Jack's neck, returning the kiss with more force as his eyes slid shut. His fingers wove their way into Jack's flaming locks, and, without quite knowing why, he tugged at them, earning himself a quiet moan in response. The small noise spurring him on, he gave Jack's hair another tug, slightly sharper this time. Another quiet moan, and fingers dug into his hip.

Both of them were close to running out of air, and their lips parted. Opening his eyes, Ralph saw sparks in Jack's eyes, and their lips met again, both of them more passionate, and willing to be rougher with one another. Jack gently guided Ralph back until they bumped into a desk, then lifted the smaller boy onto it, moving his legs apart to stand between them, his hands roaming Ralph's back as they kissed. There hadn't been this much heat between them since Ralph had visited Jack at his home, and it was irresistible. Their bodies were pressed against each other, as close as they could possibly get, and everything was forgotten to each of them, everything except the other.

Jack moved one hand from Ralphs' back, and brought it between them, running it down Ralph's chest, and stopping at the waistband of his trousers. The blonde shivered, anticipation building up in his chest as they parted again, only for long enough to take a few breaths, then brought their lips back together. Jack's fingers fumbled with the button to Ralph's trousers, and he started to squirm on the desk, beginning to grow hard. The longer Jack teased him, the harder he became, and eventually, he couldn't bear it any longer, and broke the kiss.

"Jack." He whined quietly, burying his face in the redhead's shoulder. Jack chuckled, and flicked the button open.

From the other side of the room, Roger cleared his throat, reminding Jack of his and Simon's presence, and Jack chuckled again.

"You might want to leave. I can't exactly leave him like this, can I? Of course, if you wanted to stay for the show, I have no objection."

Simon turned a deep red at the invitation to watch, and Roger moved both of them, standing, and leading Simon to the door, pausing just before opening it.

"Don't get yourselves caught." He advised, then left, making sure the door was shut properly behind him and Simon.

Turning his attention back to Ralph, Jack frowned slightly, realising he would have to something to make sure they weren't heard. He couldn't exactly gag Ralph to keep him quiet, so he would have to hope the blonde had enough self control to keep himself quiet. He figured it was best to test how loud he was going to be before deciding anything, so he slipped his hand into Ralph's underwear, giving the hardened length a small stroke. Loud moans erupted from Ralph's throat, and Jack clamped his free hand over his mouth to silence him.

"Shh, Ralphie, not so loud. You have to be quiet." He whispered softly. Ralph nodded in understanding, and Jack lifted his hand, stroking him again with the other hand to see if he could control it. Small noises still escaped, but Ralph bit down on his bottom lip, holding the louder moans back. "Good boy. Now for your reward."

He removed his hand from Ralph's underwear, pulling him to the very edge of the desk, then dropping to his knees and pulling Ralph's clothing down, revealing him completely. They didn't have much time to waste, but Jack gave him a few strokes, to make sure he was still containing his moans, then moved his head forward, taking Ralph's tip into his mouth. He bobbed a few times, then deep-throated him, only just managing not to gag, and sucked hard. Ralph gripped the edge of the desk, doing his best to muffle his moans, and panting hard.

Jack was becoming achingly stiff himself, but he didn't think that he would have time to clean up if he allowed himself to make a mess on the classroom floor, and if he kept it in his trousers, he'd be a laughing stock. No, he had to make sure he didn't release, which was far easier said than done when he had Ralph in his mouth.

Pulling back a little way, he swirled his tongue around Ralph's member, and bobbed again, and the blonde quivered.

"Ah, Jack...I...I can't...ah...I'm...I'm going to...ah..Ah...Ah-AH!" Ralph covered his mouth with one hand, and clutched at the desk with the other until his knuckles turned white, as his orgasm hit him. Jack swallowed his release greedily, and realised with faint panic that he couldn't hold himself back. Somehow, a small piece of logic appeared in his brain, and, almost instinctively, he pushed his trousers, and only his trousers, down, just before he came hard, in his underwear.

 ** _I still can't believe we did that in the middle of school._**

That was the note that Jack received during the last lesson of the day.

 _Yeah, me neither. I'm glad we did though._

 _ **Me too...sort of. We can't let it happen again. Things like holding hands can be excused if we're ever caught, but if anybody saw that, there's no excusing it.**_

 _I know. Still, it's been oddly enjoyable being able to taste you for the last hour. It's almost faded now, which is a shame._ Ralph turned a deep red, and had to slouch and look down in an attempt to hide it as he wrote his reply.

 ** _We should meet up again soon. Outside of school. And then-_** His hand shook as he wrote the next part. - ** _you can have seconds._** Jack smirked.

 _Sounds good. I'm not ruining my underwear again though. I have to say, going commando in these trousers isn't comfortable. When do you think we'll be able to meet up?_

 _ **Stop complaining, at least you can still wear your trousers, the situation could be much worse. Well, my father has to go away on a business meeting soon, he'll be away for a whole weekend, but I'm not sure when. I'll find out.** _


	11. Chapter 11

The week after the 'commando' incident was incredibly confusing to Jack. Not once did Ralph even go near their usual room at lunch, and he just wouldn't say why. While he was still allowed hand holding beneath the desk, any notes he gave the blonde in lessons were either ignored, or responded to in ways that didn't answer a single one of Jack's questions. By Wednesday, he was both frustrated, and upset. He was starting to worry that he had done something to make Ralph mad at him, but whenever he asked, Ralph denied being angry, and he had seen the smaller boy laughing with Piggy, and the twins from the year below that the choir master had never bothered to learn the names of. So Jack really had no idea what was causing his boyfriend to avoid him all of a sudden. All he knew was that he couldn't stay in the room with Simon and Roger without Ralph to keep him company, so he spent every lunchtime in the music room, even when there wasn't a choir practise on, just trying to keep himself occupied, which, without Ralph, was easier said than done.

On Thursday, he wasn't allowed anything. When he tried to take hold of Ralph's hand under the table, he moved it away, out of reach. Jack couldn't understand it. He was certain that he hadn't done anything wrong, and it wasn't as though Ralph was acting cold towards him. But, he wasn't acting as though they were anything to each other. They were just two people who happened to sit next to each other in class, and the redhead couldn't work out what had caused the change. The only thing he could think of was that Ralph knew someone that was getting suspicious, so he was trying to throw them off, but that couldn't be it, because surely if that were the case, he would have told him. But, once again, he didn't get an answer. The only thing close to an answer he got came on Friday, when a folded piece of paper landed on his desk during the last lesson of the day.

 ** _Come over to mine tomorrow. You can be there any time after 10am. Bring an overnight bag._**

Jack's heart pounded in excitement, for more than one reason. The first one was the most obvious. Ralph actually wanted him to stay the night. He couldn't believe it. Of course, knowing him, he would probably request that they sleep in separate beds, but it was still exciting! And the second, was that it wasn't a request. At no point did Ralph say that Jack _could_ come over, or that he _could_ stay the night. No, he was being told to. It was an order. Not 'come over please', just 'come over'. The only thing Jack had a say in was the time he arrived. Not that he minded, Ralph taking charge like that was kind of...sexy, even if it was via a note.

Still, there was that little niggle of uncertainty. Ralph had been acting strangely all week, so why would he suddenly want to spend an entire night with Jack? It didn't make sense. But that didn't mean that Jack was about to pass it up. As far as he was concerned, he had a solid chance of spending a night in Ralph's bedroom. Even if they didn't share a bed, it would still be a pretty big step forward, and one that Jack was more than willing to take.

So, early the next morning, he started getting ready. He told his parents that he and Ralph were working on another project together, and the deadline had been brought forward, so they had to spend the whole weekend working on it. When they allowed that, he asked if it would be okay for him to stay the night, since 'Mr Harrington had already said it was okay', and they had so much to do that it just made sense, because they'd be able to work later and get more done if he didn't have to leave. As soon as he got permission, he practically ran around his room, collecting things that he thought he might need and throwing them into a bag.

He had no idea what kind of thing Ralph wore to bed, but he figured he should probably match it, so he got a pair of full length pajamas, some pajama shorts, and a pair of loose boxers. Then he grabbed the essential item for staying anywhere other than home, his toothbrush, and a clean shirt, pair of socks, and underwear for the next day. Had he been staying with anyone other than Ralph, he wouldn't have bothered with any clean clothes for the next day, but he thought Ralph would appreciate it, so he did. He also had to throw a few school books into the bag, to maintain the façade that he was going there to do work.

He set off at 10am, since he figured Ralph's dad would be long gone by the time he got to his house. That was the whole reason he'd been given that time anyway, but he figured Ralph would think it considerate of him to be careful.

Everybody knew Ralph was rich. His dad earned a lot of money, and, though Ralph didn't brag, the rumour around school was that he lived in a mansion. While that wasn't quite true, his house was huge. Jack hadn't quite expected it, and he felt really under-dressed as he walked down the massive driveway, in his slightly scruffy shirt. It wasn't as though it needed washing, it was clean, it just hadn't been ironed, so it was all creased. But Jack preferred it that way, and he didn't think Ralph would mind...but what if he did? In a bid to try and make up for it, he ran his hands through his hair to make sure it wasn't tangled, trying to smooth some of the loose curls down. Then, when he was a bit more confident in his appearance, he approached the door, knocking on the thick wood.

Jack's surprise to see the house was nothing compared to his shock when he saw who had opened the door. He couldn't believe it, Ralph actually had a butler. It took him a little while to realise that he was supposed to be speaking, and when he finally did, his cheeks turned almost as red as his hair.

"Um...I...I'm here to see Ralph."

The butler gave him a slightly disapproving look, clearly not impressed by his informal manner of using Ralph's first name, or the wrinkles in his shirt, but Jack did his best to keep his head high as he was led inside, and the door was shut behind him.

"I shall inform him of your arrival." The butler said flatly, before heading off, and leaving Jack alone in the entrance of the grand house, looking around in awe. He couldn't believe that he had actually invited Ralph to his house, his tiny little house, that he hadn't even been able to tidy properly, or make smell nice, or anything, and Ralph, sweet little Ralph, hadn't said a thing. Jack's house was practically a cardboard box compared to this, but Ralph hadn't seemed to care at all.

Jack breathed a sigh of relief when he finally saw the blonde, but, seeing that the butler was stood behind him, he couldn't do what he wanted, and go over and kiss him. He could smile though, so he did.

"Hi Jack." Ralph said quietly.

"Hey."

Without any way of sharing any kind of affection as a greeting, the two boys weren't really sure what to do, but, before long, Ralph managed to convince the butler to leave them alone, and took Jack up to his bedroom. As soon as Ralph closed the door behind them, Jack spun him round, pinned him against the door, and crashed their lips together. They parted after only a couple of seconds, both slightly out of breath from the passion of the kiss, and smiled at one another.

"Well, that's a much better hello than you gave me downstairs." Ralph murmured, chuckling quietly, placing a hand on Jack's chest.

"It's a much better hello than you've been giving me all week. Care to explain why you've been avoiding me?" Jack asked, keeping Ralph against the door with one arm either side of him.

"It's pretty simple actually. Since you pointed out all the good things that happen after we fight, I figured there had to be something else that could cause heat between us too. So, I haven't given you anything all week so that you'd appreciate it more now. So far-" He paused to wrap his arms around Jack's neck." "-it seems to be working." For once, it was Ralph that was smirking just before their lips met again.

"You're so sneaky." Jack mumbled between small kisses.

"Is that a problem."

"Not at all. You should use it against me more often."

"Maybe I will."

How they managed to keep the conversation up, neither of them really knew, since it didn't seem like their lips ever parted for long enough for either of them to form a sentence, or even really a word. And yet, somehow, they managed it. Ralph even asked what Jack had told his parents, and Jack told him, but they were still kissing, and Ralph was still pinned against the door.

They only stopped when a knock on the door forced them too, and Ralph pushed Jack far enough away that nothing would look suspicious.

"Hello Barton, what is it?" He asked, practised formality in his voice.

"Young sir, will you and your guest be requiring any tea?"

"I don't think so. Thank you Barton." The butler nodded and left, and Ralph shut the door. He didn't even have time to turn around before Jack's arms slid around his waist, and he felt the other's breath on his neck as he settled his head on Ralph's shoulder.

"You know, if me being sneaky makes you this clingy, I'll definitely do it more often." Ralph said softly, giving a quiet chuckle as he crossed his arms over himself to find Jack's hands.

They stood like that in content silence for a few minutes, until Jack spoke, his head still nestled so close to Ralph's neck that the other felt each word as he heard them.

"So, since you're the one that planned for us to have an entire twenty-four hours together, do you have anything planned?" Ralph thought for a few moments, then shrugged, as much as he possibly could with Jack's head in the way.

"Not really. I just thought it would be nice for us to spend a day together without having to worry about being caught. ...Of course, Barton's here, so we can't do anything like we did at your house until he leaves, which will be around eight. ...We could play a board game. I have Monopoly."

"I call the cannon."

"Fine. My favourite's the top hat anyway."

"Of course it is."


	12. Chapter 12

One game of Monopoly and several bouts of uncontrollable laughter later, the two boys found themselves strewn on the floor of Ralph's bedroom, one either side of the game board that they were neglected to tidy away for the time being.

"You know, if that was a real cannon, you wouldn't have won. I would have blown your hotels to pieces instead of paying you." Jack complained jokingly, and Ralph chuckled.

"I know you would, you threatened to twice. But I don't think it would have helped you. After all, you didn't have nearly as many properties as me, and you spent half the time in jail."

"It would. I could have blown up the jail, then I wouldn't have had to keep going there. That way I'd have had more of a chance to get properties. Yeah, that's the best use of the cannon, blow up the jail. Works well for me, I shouldn't be in jail. I'm far too attractive to be somebody's bitch."

"Jack! You shouldn't talk like that!" Ralph exclaimed, propping himself up on his elbows, and looking over at the redhead, who was lying flat on his back, and laughing now.

"It's true though. You know it. You're lucky to have a boyfriend with looks like mine." It was clear that he was still joking, but Ralph didn't want to outright laugh and offend him, so simply chuckled instead.

"Yeah, I doubt I could ever find anyone else with hair as bright as yours." He said mockingly, reaching over to touch the flaming locks.

"Hey, don't make fun of my hair. It's not that bad." Jack protested, shifting his head slightly closer to Ralph to make it easier for him to reach.

"It does have it's good points. For one thing, I'm never going to lose you in a crowd." Both boys laughed at that, and Ralph had to retract his arm to allow himself to regain balance when he nearly toppled over.

"You'd better not lose me in a crowd." Jack said softly, once they had calmed down, and Ralph looked at him quizzically. The choir leader stared up at the ceiling, an ever so slight pink tinge on his cheeks, deciding that this was a bit too soppy to say while looking at the blonde. "Clearly, you must see some sort of appeal in the way I look, even with the hair, but you, you're really...pretty. If I let you out of my sight in a crowd, somebody would grab you, I'm sure of it. I know I would if I saw you out alone. I can't have that. You're mine, only mine, and I'm not going to risk losing you to anybody." He had started the explanation with a soft, caring voice, but by the end, his words had become harsh, threatening, possessive even, and Ralph _loved_ it. He knew he shouldn't, encouraging Jack feeling as though he owned him was bound to be dangerous, but Ralph couldn't deny the thrilling shivers that ran down his spine at hearing his explanation, and then again at the command that followed.

"Come here."

Quickly, but carefully, so as not to knock the pieces everywhere, Ralph moved the game board out of the way, and settled at Jack's side, looking at those icy blue eyes, which still glared at the ceiling, almost as though the plaster was going to come to life and snatch the smaller boy out his arms. But, as Ralph nestled his head into the crook of Jack's neck, his defence broke, and he hugged Ralph tightly, nuzzling his face into the blonde hair, and inhaling deeply. Then he murmured something. Ralph could barely make it out, he felt Jack's lips on the top of his head more than he actually heard the words, but his whole body grew tense, and his heart rate soared as he tried to confirm the words in his head.

It couldn't have been. It must have been something else. It was only a murmur after all, he hadn't really heard it. Perhaps Jack hadn't even said anything, perhaps it was just noise. But Ralph was sure, he was absolutely certain that he had just heard Jack Merridew murmur 'I love you' into his golden hair.

Jack noticed Ralph tense up, and held his breath. If he had heard him, that could be it for them. If Ralph wasn't ready to hear that yet, then he might as well get his bag and leave now. He knew it was pointless to try and rush Ralph into anything, he put too much thought into everything for that, took too much time being careful. That was why he hadn't meant for his words to be heard. But, judging from how tense the smaller boy was now, they had been, and there was nothing he could do but wait for him to react. He tried to act that he hadn't noticed the obvious panic, keeping his arms tight around the other. He tried to calm Ralph by kissing the top of his head, and it seemed to be enough to give him the ability to move.

Slowly, he lifted his head, looking Jack right in the eye.

"...Jack..." He began quietly, his voice shaking. "...Did you...did you just say that...that you...that you love me?"

Jack dragged his eyes away from Ralph's, and gave a silent sigh. He didn't speak, he just nodded slightly, and waited a moment before looking back at Ralph for his reaction.

He had expected him to look angry, or maybe just surprised. He expected him to break free from his arms, and move away from him. What he didn't expect was for Ralph's eyes to be rimmed with tears, but that was what he saw. But, despite the tears, Ralph's expression was unreadable. Was he happy? Was he sad? Was he angry and confused? Jack had no way of knowing. His own expression was probably horrible to witness. Confusion, embarrassment, regret, concern, self-loathing, happiness that he still had the other in his arms, they were all merging into one horrible feeling that he couldn't name.

Ralph was feeling a mixture of happiness and guilt. Happiness because, heck, Jack Merridew loved him. _Him._ Of all the people in the world, and he had found one that loved him, really, truly loved him. Jack was many things, but he wasn't a liar, not about important things, Ralph knew that. That was why he was guilty. Jack loved him, and he was thrilled about that, but...he didn't know if he could say it back, not just yet. It seemed too soon to be in love, when they had only been together for a few months, but, if Jack was, why couldn't he be? That was simple, Jack had had feelings for him for much longer than he had had feelings for Jack. For Jack, it hadn't only been a few months, it had been a few years, he just hadn't been able to act on it. Maybe he would understand that Ralph just wasn't there yet. He hadn't been in this as long as Jack had. But, did that mean it would take a few years for him to fall in love? He couldn't possibly trail Jack along for a few years while he waited to see if he would in love, it wasn't fair. He did care about him, a lot, but, did he love him? Almost. Very nearly. But not quite. Not yet. A few more months, maybe he would then. Maybe it wouldn't even take that long. Maybe he was over-thinking this.

A small part of him wanted to just tell Jack that he loved him too, to make him feel better about the whole thing. He was certain that, at some point, he would be in love with him, so where was the harm in pretending while he got there? But that would be lying, and he couldn't do it. Not to Jack. But he had to do something. Jack's arms were loosening around him.

For the first time, Jack wasn't putting up any kind of fight. He felt certain that Ralph's silence was a bad thing, and that there was a good chance of Ralph getting scared and breaking up with him. And he wasn't fighting it. This was his fault. He'd rushed things, though to him, it wasn't rushing, he had waited almost three years to say those words, a few months into the relationship had seemed fair, but for Ralph, he was sure it was too soon, and he had to accept his punishment. There was nothing to be done if Ralph wanted to end things here. He'd had a few months of heaven, and if he was sentenced back to his personal hell, than he had to deal with it. School would be hard. He had survived years of sitting next to Ralph before, but now it would be different. Now things would be awkward. They had shared such a massive secret, grown so close, engaged in sexual encounters with one another. There was no way all of that could just be forgotten. And how was he going to face the choir, with Simon and Roger there. He and Ralph had set them up, how could he watch them being happy together when he didn't have Ralph? He would have to have words, tell them to stop kissing during choir practise. He could tell them the others were getting suspicious, that was bound to work.

Slowly, he moved the two of them into a sitting position, looking away from Ralph. The gears in Ralph's brain were still going at full speed, and the guilt was almost too much to handle. Something needed to be done, even if he couldn't respond in the way he knew Jack wanted him to.

"Jack." Ralph's quiet whisper sounded, drawing blue eyes to his face. Not wasting a second, he launched forwards, capturing Jack's lips with emotion fuelled power. Strong arms were around his waist in and instant, and his arms were around Jack's neck. He gave the smallest of smiles before pulling back a tiny way, allowing their noses to touch, and continued giving the other his small smile, even through the tears that now ran down his cheeks.

"Jack...I...I...I'm sorry...I...I can't..." He trailed off with a sigh, not knowing how to say what he needed to without hurting Jack's feelings. But he didn't need to worry. The corners of Jack's mouth turned up ever so slightly, and he gave Ralph the smallest of kisses.

"It's okay. You don't have to say it back. ...I Just...I need to ask...me saying it, it...isn't a problem, is it?"

"Of course it isn't a problem."

The two shared a sweet smile, and stayed sitting nose to nose for some time. Jack was just so relieved that Ralph wasn't angry, or confused, and he still had his boyfriend. Then, a low growl from Ralph's stomach set both of them off laughing, and, after getting control of themselves, and sharing one of the gentlest kisses they had ever shared, headed downstairs to find something to eat.


	13. Chapter 13

It took Jack a few moments to remember where he was the next morning. He just knew that it wasn't his bedroom. His bed wasn't this big, or this comfy. His room wasn't this big. Or this dark. His curtains let most of the morning light in, but the ones in this room didn't. It wasn't until he felt movement under his arm, and Ralph snuggled against his chest, still fast asleep, that he realised who's room he was in. With a small smile, he pulled Ralph close, wrapping both arms around him, but moving slowly to avoid waking him. He looked far too sweet asleep for Jack to ever want to wake him. His blonde hair was all scruffy, and his mouth was slightly open. Jack really could have stayed there forever. The mere thought of having to leave later on made him tighten his arms around the smaller male, gently pulling Ralph's warm body even closer against his bare chest.

Bringing different nightwear options had been rather a good idea for their first night together, but it didn't take long for Jack to find out that Ralph really didn't care what Jack preferred to wear when sleeping, even though he himself wore a full length pajama set. Jack had put his full set on to begin with, but after almost fifteen minutes of fidgeting, and Ralph worriedly asking if he was uncomfortable because they were sharing a bed, he had been forced to come clean about his plan, admitting that he normally only wore pajama bottoms to bed, so the shirt was making him uncomfortable. Ralph just laughed at him, and within the next couple of minutes the shirt was off, and in a heap on the floor, and Ralph had traced patterns on his bare skin as the two of them fell asleep. Jack just had to remember to pick it up before he left. But he didn't have to worry about that just yet. He could focus on watching Ralph's eyes as they slowly flickered open.

"G'morning." He mumbled sleepily, and Jack's smile grew.

"Good morning Ralphie."

Ralph smiled at that, the nickname that he used to hate, but now knew to be a term of endearment, and adored, and looked at Jack, frowning slightly at him before chuckling.

"What?" Jack asked quietly. "What's so funny?"

"Your hair. It's all messy." Ralph said, through quiet laughter, and Jack chuckled along with him.

"Yeah? Well so is yours." As if to prove it, he ran his fingers through Ralph's hair, but slowly, so he wouldn't hurt him if he caught any knots.

After no more than a few minutes, Jack could confirm that Ralph was adorable when he had just woken up, and he moved forward to kiss his adorable blonde on the forehead.

Jack wasn't the only one content to stay there for as long as possible, and the boys enjoyed one of the longest Sunday morning lie-ins either of them had ever had, just curled up beside each other. In fact, it was almost noon when they finally dragged themselves out from underneath the covers, and that was only because Ralph's stomach was rumbling again, and Jack couldn't go any longer without using the bathroom. At first, the redhead thought that Ralph might be uncomfortable if they dressed in the same room. Just to be safe, he had changed in the bathroom the night before, but, as he gathered his clothes to go and change there again, Ralph simply started to change, so he figured there was nothing wrong with it, and didn't bother leaving. Not that that stopped either of them from being quick and turning away to dress their lower halves.

When they were both dressed, and Ralph had leant Jack a comb to attempt to tame his hair with, they went downstairs to find some breakfast.

Ralph slipped his hand into Jack's on the stairs, and Jack looked at him quizzically. Ralph had staff, why would he be so willing to risk them seeing the two of them holding hands?

"Nobody's ever here on Sundays. It's usually just me and Father, but since he's not here, it's just me and you." He explained with a smile, and squeezed Jack's hand.

Nothing was done quickly. They spent almost half an hour trying to decide what to eat, and when they finally chose something, it took them forever to eat it, since they spent more time talking than eating. It was strange, they had been together for three months, and known each other for years before that, but it really felt like they were getting to know each other. And in a way, they were. In this new environment, where there was no threat of being caught, and they had all the time in the world to be together, without any pressure from anywhere to do anything, they could open up to each other on a whole new level. Jack could become the romantic gentleman that Ralph made him want to be, pulling his chair out for him when he sat down, kissing his cheek before going and sitting down himself, holding hands over the table, even if it made it difficult to eat. Ralph simply allowed it all, quite liking the romantic side of Jack, even if it put him in the more effeminate role, since it was nice to be taken care of for once, and also allowed himself to become more boisterous, leading the conversation with stories of his friends, his rather boring childhood, and what he could remember of his mother. Those stories weren't as fun to tell as the others.

"Mother always hated the big business dinners. She hated the way the two of us had to go, to make Father look good. She said it was all for show, and she was right. Father still goes to them, of course, he has to, but he doesn't make me go. He never has, not since Mother died."

Jack nodded along, his head propped up with his hand, his elbow resting on the table.

"If you don't mind me asking, how did it happen?"

Ralph obliged to tell him, but his voice grew hushed, so that Jack had to lean forwards to hear him properly.

"She was at a charity event, I don't know what for, and the building caught fire. Apparently she got out, but, there was this little boy inside, and, she ran back in to try and save him. Father met his mother once, not long after it happened. I was supposed to be asleep already, but I crept downstairs, and I caught a glimpse of a picture of the boy. I remember thinking he looked around five or six, and he had this big purple birthmark on his face. Anyway, Mother ran into the building to find him, I think someone once told me she managed to get to him, but before they got out...the roof just...caved in.. We didn't know until the police turned up on the doorstep. ...I think...that's the only time I've ever seen my...my father...cry..." Ralph's own eyes were wet with tears as he recounted the story, and Jack was on his side of the table in seconds, hugging him tightly.

"I'm sorry Ralph. ..I shouldn't have asked." He mumbled awkwardly, hoping that the hug would be more comforting than any words he had to offer, since there were very few.

"It's okay. Don't worry about it." Ralph assured him, wiping his eyes and giving Jack a small smile to try and stop him feeling guilty. Then he stood, gently pulling himself from Jack's arms, and took his dish over to the sink to clean it. Jack followed closely, and wrapped his arms around Ralph's waist from behind as soon as he stopped walking. With a chuckle, Ralph turned, wrapping his own arms around Jack's neck, and pulling him down into a soft kiss. The tenderness of Jack's lips on his own was amazing, but it kept him from hearing something that he really should have been listening out for by this time.

He only heard his name the third time it was called, and only pushed Jack away as the kitchen door swung open, both of them attempting to look natural as Mr Harrington tried to work out who the blushing red-headed ginger in his kitchen was, and why his son looked quite so guilty.


	14. Chapter 14

"H-How was your business trip, Father?" Ralph asked, that practised formality back in his voice, along with nervousness that couldn't possibly be hidden, though he was clearly trying.

"Successful. We secured the new trading partner." Was the cold reply. Even just from witnessing the start of the exchange, Jack felt really sorry for Ralph. This was really what he lived with? This tall, threatening man, with dead eyes, that spoke to his son as though he was a lower ranking colleague, and not a family member. And Ralph just accepted it. But then, Jack supposed, after almost 17 years, there was no alternative to accepting it. It just became something you got used to. That just made Jack even more sorry for Ralph, and all he wanted to do was go over and smother the blonde in affection. But he couldn't, so he just had to stand awkwardly and watch at the two continued exchanging forced pleasantries.

"How was the journey?"

"No major problems, though we were held up for a while at the station because of maintenance. ..I trust you managed on your own?"

"Yes Father. Same as always."

"Except for your guest. You didn't tell me you had invited anyone to join you while I was away." Jack watched as panic flew over Ralph's face, before he took a deep breath, regaining composure.

"It was sort of last minute. We're working on a project together at school, and the deadline got moved forwards on Friday. The only way to get it done was to work over the weekend, and I never got the chance to tell you. I'm sorry Father." In a perfectly rehearsed movement, Ralph directed his eyes at the floor. The perfect manoeuvre to keep himself out of trouble.

"That's alright. Just make sure it doesn't happen again. As the head of this household, you ask me permission before you invite any of your school friends to the house."

"Yes Father. I will."

Jack used the silence that followed to look between the father and son, and couldn't help but notice that Ralph looked nothing like his father. The only similarity he could find was the fact that they were similar builds. Ralph had the same body shape as his father, just smaller. But that was it. They both had brown eyes, but Ralph's were lighter, and warmer. His skin was paler, his hair nothing like his father's dark brown locks, combed back perfectly, with not a single hair out of place. It was quite a contrast to the blonde mess that currently sat atop Ralph's head. Despite the overall awkwardness of the situation, Jack found himself feeling rather glad that Ralph didn't look like his father, since he was certain that no one that looked like that could ever look anywhere near as sweet as his Ralphie did, or as pretty. It took a while for him to realise that he himself was also being studied, and looked up, his ice blue eyes meeting the dark caverns that belonged to Mr Harrington.

"You seem familiar. What's your name?"

"Jack. Jack Merridew."

"Ah, a Merridew. I believe I've met your father. Nice chap, good businessman." He paused, and frowned at Jack's hair. Jack fought the urge to smile, since he could guess what he was thinking. His father wasn't ginger, so.."

"You must get your hair from your mother."

"No sir. Neither of my parents have ginger hair."

"Hm. How unusual." Another pause while he glanced at his watch, and his attention was back on Ralph. "Do excuse me, I have to check in at the office, look over this week's figures." He ruffled Ralph's hair, as though forgetting that he wasn't a little kid, gave Jack a polite nod, then left. Ralph heaved a sigh of relief, and gripped the counter, looking as though he might fall over, and within seconds Jack was back at his side.

"That was way too close." Ralph mumbled, and Jack slid his arms around him, partially because he still wanted to smother the other with affection, and partially to support him if he actually did fall. "If my father had seen us...if he'd caught us kissing...Jack, you shouldn't be here."

"Ralphie," Jack began, using the nickname to try and calm him. "It's okay. He didn't catch us, so we're okay. Don't worry, I'll leave before he comes back, but I'm not going anywhere until I know you're okay."

"I'm fine Jack, that just...it was such a close call. Too close. It just freaked me out a little."

"I know. But we got away with it, and we won't let it happen again. I promise." With that, Jack pressed a soft kiss to Ralph's cheek, and, with a small smile, Ralph turned, wrapping his arms around Jack's neck, and kissed him properly, before tucking his head under Jack's chin.

"Thank you." He whispered. "...I just don't want to lose you because of him."


	15. Chapter 15

Caution was at an all time high in Jack and Ralph's relationship. Ralph tried to act like everything was fine, that he just had a lot of homework to do, so he couldn't spend a lot of time kissing and cuddling. He tried to pretend that he had a valid reason for not holding hands under their desk anywhere near as often, though he never was the best liar, and the best he could do was pretend he had to keep one hand on his textbook so he knew where he'd read up to. But Jack could see it. He could see that the reason Ralph had backed off from him, refused to be too intimate with him, even in their secret lunch room, was because he was scared. Sure, they'd both known there was always the risk of being caught, and it kind of made things exciting, but they had come so close to being caught. And by Ralph's _father_ of all people. Anyone in the whole world would have been better. Piggy, the choir, any of the teachers, heck, even Jack's parents would have been better. But it hadn't been any of those. And now Ralph knew exactly how easy it was to slip up, to get caught, and watch the thing you needed most in the world vanish, in an instant. It's not that it hadn't freaked Jack out too, it had. How could it not? Even though Mr Harrison hadn't actually seen them kissing, or even in an embrace, they had both looked pretty damn guilty when he'd walked in. That was suspicious, and it was nerve-wracking. But Jack could overlook it. He could tell himself that they hadn't been caught kissing, and that was the closest they had ever come to it. So, as long as they didn't let that happen again, they would be alright. And preventing it was easy, if they wanted to be sure Ralph's father wouldn't catch them together, they wouldn't be together at Ralph's house. It was so simple.

But Ralph was different.

He couldn't see that. He just saw that they had almost been caught. That his father had almost found something out that was certain to have awful consequences. And that meant they had to be more careful than ever before, because now they had to be certain no one would find out. They had come so close to being caught. He had come so close to losing Jack. He couldn't risk that happening again. And, as far as he was concerned, if they didn't do anything, then they wouldn't be caught. But he couldn't stop completely. He still needed Jack, more than anything in the world, and that meant some kisses, small kisses, and short lived embraces, but only when he was sure they were alone. He was even cautious around Simon and Roger, though they didn't seem to notice, or, if they did, they didn't say anything. He was just doing what was best. Making sure he didn't lose Jack. Making sure they could still be together.

Although, they were spending an awful lot of time apart.

And he hated it.

Jack didn't know what to do. He understood, he really did. Ralph pushing him away was just because fear, but...that didn't mean it didn't hurt. It hurt a lot. They'd come so far, gotten to the point of sharing a bed, hell, he'd told Ralph he loved him, and now, it was all gone. Except that it wasn't. They were still sweethearts, there was no doubt about that. Whenever he got a kiss, though it wasn't very often, he could feel every ounce of emotion, all of the affection. So he knew. He knew that Ralph wasn't doing this by choice. Well, he _was_ , but only because he thought it was for the best. But it really, really wasn't.

In the end, Jack tried to resolve it the only way he knew how. With confrontation. Truth be told it wasn't the _only_ way he knew, but winning Ralph over with kisses wasn't going to happen, so it was the only option he had.

Everything was planned. He knew what he was going to say. He knew how he was going to say it. He'd even decided that he didn't care whether Simon and Roger were there. It didn't matter. It wasn't like this was a bad argument. This was just him trying to convince Ralph that they didn't need to be anymore careful than they had before. ...Aggressively. But it was only aggressive because he knew that would make Ralph pay attention. His plan was ready, and so was he.

He tried to keep the build up natural. Tried to wait until Ralph came to their lunch room of his own accord. But two days passed without that happening, and Jack wasn't going to wait longer than that. He dropped a note in front of Ralph asking if he would be there, and got a nod in return. Ralph wouldn't say no if he asked for attention.

The reaction was instant. As soon as Ralph closed the door Jack was on his feet.

"I'm surprised you actually came."

No reaction. Not from Ralph anyway. He knew what he'd done wrong. Simon and Roger looked up, but said nothing.

"So you won't even talk to me anymore? Not even in here?"

No reaction. Ralph wouldn't even look at him.

But Jack had seen this coming. He moved towards him. Just a step. Only one. Take it slowly. Don't scare him off.

"It's stupid. You're being stupid."

The smallest reaction. The tensing of shoulders. Another step forward. Not too close. Not yet.

But, a change of tone. Make it soft. Let him know he's still loved. He'll respond to that. He'll yell at that.

"You don't have to do it. Not like this. We can be careful without doing this. You don't need to stay away from me all the time."

No reaction. That wasn't in the plan. Another step. Two. Small. Desperate. He won't move but he's needed. He's needed so much. If only he would realise.

"Ralph. Please Ralph. Just talk to me. Let me know we're okay. Let me know you know we're okay."

Desperation. Pleading. Begging.

"Ralph please! Please! You can spend time with me! I know what happened scared you but it's okay! We don't have to stop anything, we can carry on, we can..."

Desperate words cut off by a sniff. By tears hitting the floor.

By the feeling of impending heartbreak.

Another step forwards.

A hand reaching out.

A whisper.

"We can still be together."

A reaction.

"No we can't."


	16. Chapter 16

_No we can't_.

The words became an echo.

Endless.

Mind-numbing.

How to react?

No reaction.

This wasn't in the plan.

Jack does nothing.

As Ralph cried, almost sobbed, and mumbled it again, Jack did nothing.

As Roger pulled Simon just a tiny bit closer, silently warning him to not move, not make a sound, not do anything to draw attention to them, Jack did nothing.

As Ralph apologised, and wiped away hot tears with the back of his hand, Jack did nothing.

There was nothing he could do. He just stood there, eyes wide, and wet with tears that blur his vision, but don't fall. His arm stayed outstretched. Reaching for Ralph. Desperate for him to reach back because Jack just couldn't move.

But he didn't. He turns away. Faces the door.

And Jack's mind explodes.

He can't let him leave. If Ralph walks out that door, if he leaves the room, Jack will lose him. Forever. If he walks away, there's no going back. They'll be over. Safe. But ruined. They need each other. Jack needs Ralph, and he knows Ralph needs him too. He loves Ralph, more than anything, and he's praying, begging, losing his mind hoping that Ralph loves him too. Because if he does, he'll turn back around. He'll take it back. They'll find a way to keep everything secret, a real secret, with no risk of being caught. If it will make Ralph stay, he'll do anything. But Ralph doesn't turn around.

Words. They'll help. If he can just say something, Ralph will turn. He'll look at him. They'll lock eyes and see each other, and it will be okay. Jack's mouth moves, but no words come out. Because there are no words. Nothing can describe how he's feeling, how much he needs Ralph to stay, right now, and forever, if only they can find a way. And they could. Jack knows it. There are so many factors that would get in the way but he just _knows_ that doesn't matter. What matters is Ralph turning around right now. Because this, this, above being caught, above anything, _this_ is the moment that decides everything for them. But Jack can't talk.

So he doesn't.

The tears spill from his eyes, and burn his cheeks. His heart feels like it's going to burst it's beating so fast, or maybe it's not beating at all, he can't really tell. But that doesn't matter. Not when everything he cares about is on the verge of leaving him forever.

But he doesn't speak.

He moves.

How he does it, he doesn't know. He's rooted to the spot, and then, in the same second, he's at the door with Ralph, grabbing him by the arm.

 _Don't leave. Don't leave. Don't leave._

The words repeated in his head again and again. A mindless chant that drowned out all other sounds.

He's not even thinking now. He's just acting. Spinning Ralph around and crashing their mouths together with so much force, so much desperation, he could swear he chipped a tooth. But he doesn't care. He's just praying this works. Praying that Ralph isn't going to pull away. That he'll kiss back. That'll he'll come to his senses and realise this is just an over-reaction. That they're okay. They can do this. They can make it work. It will all be okay. If this works. Everything Jack has. Every ounce of emotion in his heart. He pours it all into that kiss. Because it has to work. It just has to.

Each second seemed to last an eternity.

And then...

...Success.

Slender arms wind around Jack's neck, and tears were running down both their faces, because the realisation that this was what they needed, that this is something they can never lose, was too obvious to ignore.

They had both already known. But now, now they _knew_. This was what they needed.

Lips parted. Foreheads met. Tears still streamed. But neither cared about that.

Full of love and overwhelming relief, Jack pressed a chaste kiss to Ralph's forehead, allowing his lips to rest there for a moment. Just long enough to murmur 'I love you', and give a gentle sigh. He didn't care what happened next, because whatever it was, they were still going to be together. That much was clear, from the way Ralph gripped his shirt, so tight that it seemed he was scared to let go, in case he never got to hold on again. Jack understood that.

After almost being caught, almost being over, every chance they got to be together was going to be all the more precious, just in case it was the last.

But Jack didn't mind that. If there was anything he could do about it, the last time they were together wouldn't be for a long time. So he didn't care what happened until then. They would be fine whatever happened.

Of course, that didn't stop a fresh batch of tears running down his cheeks when Ralph mumbled "I love you too." against his shoulder.


End file.
